Oh jeez I feel this. Had to have ‘the conversation’ the other day too (again) w/ mum. She’s no longer driving but the topic keeps coming up.
Comment on Discussion Thread 🦕 Wednesday 19 November 2025
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 1 day ago
very old MIL came over
she went on a rant about VicRoads. How dare they ask for all my medical details. my bad health doesn’t mean I can’t drive, and how dare they ask me to get retested.
“I’m a very good driver, better than “insert name of son” ( who drives her everywhere, ) I see all the things he doesn’t. I see everything and anticipate.”
She’s 86 and can barely get in a car and she can’t walk well.
She was so angry when I said maybe she shouldn’t be driving.
I’m only concerned that someone else may get hurt.
Narcissism in old age manifests in new and interesting ways.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone 1 day ago
Force_majeure112@lemmy.world 1 day ago
😔 my poor dad barely passed his recent driving test, and almost definitely won’t pass his next. His partner will keep him in line though and won’t let him try when he’s not allowed
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone 1 day ago
My grandma is 85 and gets so annoyed about the driving question because she’s still fine. But it sounds like your MIL is getting defensive because she still wants to drive even though she shouldn’t. People take that stuff as an insult.
I think there should be a driving test for people once they reach a certain age. Maybe even every ten years or something. That won’t stop people driving like hoons in the meantime. but I wonder how many would fail.
PeelerSheila@aussie.zone 1 day ago
I remember my brother telling me about his 91 yo MIL, who was becoming increasingly dangerous behind the wheel and everyone in his wife’s family were just way too timid to face her wrath on the subject. So he “had to play the bastard son-in-law” because it was getting ridiculous and only a matter of time. She was utterly enraged, demanding her licence back, causing a fuss. They made her do a test and she failed. She was even more viciously angry, and demanded another test. She again failed. They found out she was still driving. My brother took her keys. She was absolutely beside herself with rage. She was in complete denial. In the end she was going to demand another test but death got in the way. What a way to spend your twilight years. Some people are just unbelievable.
SituationCake@aussie.zone 1 day ago
I like to think that when I’m old enough I will heed any advice that I should stop driving, if I haven’t already voluntary realised it myself. But, with the number of cases I hear of elderly people believing they are fine to drive when they are clearly not, I wonder if some kind of self awareness problem happens in old age? Yes some are narcissists but they can’t all be, can they? Will my brain become selfish and dumb when I’m old? I really really hope not. I don’t want to be that person. Anyway, hope the vicroads testing sorts out the MIL and gets her off the road. Safer for everyone.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone 1 day ago
There are definitely awareness problems with age, especially with dementia. There’s even a word for it, anosognosia. It’s one reason a lot of people’s plans for old age don’t work out, they assume they will have the capacity to recognise when they need to make changes, whether that be stopping driving, not climbing ladders or going into aged care. And because our society values being able to make your own choices we allow people to cause a lot of damage to themselves and others before we allow anyone else to step in and start making decision.
Some people of course do use denial as a coping strategy through their whole lives, and that can also be a cause of refusing to admit being unable to do things. It doesn’t help that our society sees aging as a bad thing and has a lot of prejudice against the elderly, people would not feel as much need to deny their own aging if it was seen as a more positive thing.
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone 1 day ago
The absolute rage someone I knew flew into when his doctor reported him as no longer fit to drive. Never mind the fact that he blacked out while driving his car, fell asleep on a forklift and had lost a large chunk of his spatial awareness leading to scraping the shit out of his car, but “HoW dArE tHeY”. Fucker is lucky he didn’t hurt anyone. And yet still thought it was an excellent choice to not take his medication.
Some people would rather talk about other people’s faults than admit their own.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 1 day ago
Thee main thing that made me feel angry was the way she insulted her son who drives here everywhere who looks after her.
She feels no gratitude and thinks saying thank you is abasement.