Comment on Anon can't wait

• yakko@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Goo straight to therapy, do not pass 4chan, do not collect far right propaganda

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• rumschlumpel@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  TBH I’ve been to psychologists. I suppose the medication worked somewhat, but the talk therapy part? Meh. Though TBF I’m not the kind of depressed where you basically function and even have a social life but just aren’t happy (like the original OP), my life legitimately sucks in a lot of ways that aren’t easy to change.

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  • slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    For me, cognitive behavioral therapy really helped a lot with my anxiety, but I needed to find a certified psychotherapist for that (I live in EU). I talked a lot with a psychologist before, but that was only midly helpful. CBT brought a lot of structure to the whole thing, and I quickly improved.

    I was very sceptical, but now I’m impressed. It’s not like I gaslight myself and pretend my life is perfect, but I ended up seeing my difficulties in a more balanced view.

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  • sean_lemmy@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yeah, I’ve been there. Therapist says something like exercise and to take deep breaths.

    While I’m getting yelled at by people for crap wages daily 😢

    Had one guy just tell me to buy a book which essentially “You’re outlook is too negative”

    You know what actually cured 80% of my depression? Getting a job that isn’t crap.

    Turns out if you get paid well enough and are not in a hostile environment for 40 hours weekly your mental health greatly improves 🤷

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      This is something I think UBI could help with, at least a form that allows you to survive without working. Being able to quit without worrying how you’ll make rent is super empowering and is something therapy can’t provide.

      This wouldn’t work for everyone, but I think there’s a good chance overall productivity would improve if people felt like that instead of terriified of losing a job. Maybe then people would stand up for problems they see instead of hiding it so it’s someone else’s problem.

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    • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You had a crap therapist too if i may say so. I’m sorry that happened and happy that you are in a better place now!

      I worked in costumer service for many years and was yelled at a lot, just like you. You know what my therapist said?

      He said (paraphrased): “I can’t understand how these people dare treat another human being like that. Your anger about what happened is completely justified. Lets work on what we can do to improve your situation.”

      We talked a lot about how to distance yourself from the situation while it happens, to not be afraid to tell people to stop yelling if that doesn’t work, rationalizing fears related to job loss, healthy ways to express aggression to vent without hurting yourself. That’s what a therapist should do, not tell you to grow a thicker hide (that is what will kill you in the long run if you are so detached from your feelings that you get completely overwhelmed if that fails even once).

      I agree with @sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works that in the long run UBI will be needed to help with that - the way it goes currently means sooner or later there will be more people without jobs than with jobs, and if we don’t want the guillotines to come up (we are well on the way to that, since it becomes more and more mainstream to openly talk about stuff like that), it will be necessary to ensure a worthwhile life for the people who are not needed in classic jobs to create value, so they can create whatever they want without fear.

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      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I have a very different take on why UBI is worth considering.

        the way it goes currently means sooner or later there will be more people without jobs than with jobs

        I don’t think this is necessarily true. This type of FUD has come up with pretty much every major technological shift. This article goes over that, and here are some examples:

        • Industrial Age - Luddites vs Looms - worried weaving machines would kill jobs
        • Printing Press - ended scribes
        • Ford’s assembly lines - kill craftsmanship

        In each case, the fears were largely unfounded, but they seemed very prescient at the time.

        I don’t recommend UBI because I’m worried AI or some other technological advance will kill jobs, I recommend UBI because I think it empowers workers, encourages entrepreneurship, and simplifies social safety nets (less work to get the benefits you need).

        if we don’t want the guillotines to come up (we are well on the way to that, since it becomes more and more mainstream to openly talk about stuff like that)

        Is it though? I mostly see it on forums like this one that heavily tilt to young people on one end of the political spectrum. I think it has more to do with influencers and echo chambers than an actual shift in public perception. By all metrics, the average person is doing better today than at any other time in history (real (inflation adjusted) median personal income is at an all time high). The problem, IMO, is perception. People think they’re worse off because of social media (people only post the highlights), influencers (survivorship bias), and comparing themselves to their parents (further along in their career).

        The one area that’s troubling is average age of first-time home-owners, which has become about 40 (source):

        Image

        I think the critical factor here isn’t necessarily home prices, but personal savings rates declining. People just aren’t saving as much any more, meaning they’re spending a greater share of their income, so it’ll take longer to make a down payment on a home. And with inflation-adjusted household incomes steadily increasing over time, I think the simple answer is that people are spending more of their money on short-term wants.

        I don’t think guillotines will fix this issue, people need a better relationship w/ social media (which for many people, will be no relationship at all) and a greater focus on planning for the future. It all starts with building good habits while young, as in, when your income is so small that your savings doesn’t really matter in the long term.

        I get it, life is hard and people want easy solutions. But most of the time, there are no easy solutions, and any solution proposed as easy is an outright lie. Instead of focusing on society-level “solutions,” instead focus on how to improve your own life as it is. That’s largely what therapists offer, they don’t wave a magic wand and make your problems disappear, they reframe your problems into things you can manage, and that is empowering.

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  • IronBird@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    from a evolutionary standpoint, depression is just your brain telling you “damn…your life kind sucks, you should probably change something about it until it doesn’t”.

    therapy is meant to help you figure out fhe (something) that makes it sucks. sometimes your so depressed though, the reward processes of your brain so fucked, that you can’t even make the effort to affect change even if you already know what’s wrong and needs to change. that’s what meds are for.

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