IDK about ‘loneliness epidemic’, but ‘lonely’ IS my normal.
I do communicate with some friends more than once a week, but none of them even live in the same city as I do.
Comment on Anon is a fact checker
Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org 1 day ago
Yup. the sexual loneliness epidemic is easing up, because we're all fighting back to 'normal'. But ask most men this simple question: how many non-sexual friends do you have in your life that you communicate with more than once a week?
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 day ago
Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org 1 day ago
That's the hell of it, but if you feel lonely at a base level, I suggest you try to find or start community events. You'd be amazed how effective Meetup is.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 day ago
I have health issues that get in the way of in-person-socializing.
Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org 1 day ago
I don't really have a way to deal with that. I have my own issues, but I do fight past them to try being social whenever I can. The biggest thing I can say is to find groups who do voice & video chats more often.
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Depends where you are, seems to be a pretty US-based thing. Here it is all weird stuff.
Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org 1 day ago
Fair enough, but I'm sure there's an alternative.
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Is it normal to talk to friends more than once a week? That seems like a strange standard imo. Even my besties and I touch base maybe once or twice a month at most, and see eachother once every 4 to 6 months.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That sounds normal to me, but it’s worth noting that when we were under Covid lockdown, I didn’t understand how so many people freaked out about it. I’ve always been sucky at social interactions and pretty much always felt lonely as a baseline. It’s like I’d been training for lockdown my entire life. Seeing others lose their minds trying to live the way I’ve always lived was quite awkward.
Which means for many people, your/my standards for social contact are way too infrequent. I don’t know what an average measurement would be, but it’s clear that our “normal” can’t be most people’s “normal.”
exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Is it normal to talk to friends more than once a week?
Yes. It’s very normal to talk to several friends per day, and to see several friends each week. Rotating through one’s universe of friends, that might mean that there are a few friends you talk to at least a few times per week, some that you talk to a few times per month, and a some that you talk to a few times per year. And maybe you actually meet up in person a few times so that you’re still seeing friends in person every week.
That level frequency isn’t necessary, but it’s kinda shocking to me that your comment suggests that you find it surprising that many other people are doing this.
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
I think that level of interaction might be normal in adolescence and even young adulthood, but by the time you’re working, living on your own, and maybe have a family I really don’t think most people talk to their friends that often.
exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
I’m in my 40’s, and I have children. My wife and I both work full time jobs that require regular travel and responsibilities outside of normal business hours.
I have probably 5-10 chat threads in different apps that I maintain with different friend groups. Some are just stupid meme exchanges, but they’re also a regular way to keep in touch with people about their kids, jobs, families, hobbies, goals, etc. But I communicate with dozens of friends on any given day.
My mom also demands regular grandchild content on a constant feed so I actually keep in touch with my family better than when I didn’t have kids.
I have a standing neighborhood parent/kid meetup once a week where my kids get to play with their neighborhood friends while we parents hang out at some local restaurant. We text each other the day of to coordinate a place, and then maybe 3-5 of the families (out of a group of maybe 6-8 regulars and 2-4 fringe participants) will show up on any given week. This is on top of the occasional dinner party on the weekends. We don’t make it to every event, but we are averaging more than one meetup per week with our friends with kids near our kids’ ages.
I’m also friends with people at work. I have a standing monthly happy hour with work friends I’ve kept in touch with, even as people have taken different jobs or made other career changes.
I also do an annual camping trip in the summer with one group of friends, and an annual ski trip with another group of friends. It’s only once a year for each, but there’s also a lot of value in 48+ hour meetups, sitting around with downtime throughout, just catching up and talking around a fire or something.
My parents had church when they were my age. I don’t. But I still try to schedule regular things on the calendar to stay plugged into different groups. It’s important to me, and it didn’t come naturally, but these are things my friends and I implemented in our 30’s when socializing started requiring coordinating calendars. Especially once the friends’ wedding weekends dropped off and seeing out of town friends required coordination without an actual occasion to celebrate.
Sonor@lemmy.world 1 day ago
i think a simple “what do you feel right now” would stump half the population.
Little8Lost@lemmy.world 1 day ago
If they dont answer with the predifined “fine”
Sonor@lemmy.world 1 day ago
The predifined “fine” is either a real “i don’t know “ or “it’s too socially dangerous for me to say what I really feel “ imho
sys_team_chapel@lemmynsfw.com 1 day ago
Or even “I think it would be nice to talk to you in more detail, but it’s really difficult to summarize my entire mental state in a short sentence, so to avoid you and I the headache, I’m just gonna say fine.”