Comment on Personal Responsibility

davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• Geodad@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’m sure there are some kids who hate a parent and play the one against them.

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Having kids can be stressful, but if you don’t play a largely united front and allow the kids to play manipulative games against your partner, don’t communicate, take sides and turn on each other, one or both of you is snide and used the kids to undermine the other one.

    It’s still not the kid’s fault if they were brought up to tolerate and play emotional games against family members. Kids start off life completely self absorbed and have to be taught to be kind, share, think about other people and prioritise relationships over things. No toddler knows this. All functioning adults do.

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    • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s still not the kid’s fault if they were brought up to tolerate and play emotional games against family members.

      Having kids myself and listening to them describe their fellow students’ situations at home, or even how we observe acquaintance’s kids act and how it mirrors parental behaviors, you can bet your ass that they learn from how their parents are acting and what they’re allowed to get away with.

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    • Geodad@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Having kids can be stressful, but if you don’t play a largely united front and allow the kids to play manipulative games against your partner, don’t communicate, take sides and turn on each other, one or both of you is snide and used the kids to undermine both the other person and the relationship.

      This is me and my wife.

      It’s still not the kid’s fault if they were brought up to tolerate and play emotional games against family members. Kids start off life completely self absorbed and have to be taught to be kind, share, think about other people’s feelings and prioritise relationships over things. No toddler knows this. All functioning adults do.

      This is my brother-in-law and his wife.

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      • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Not sure which way round you mean that. I hope the whole family has more harmony and happiness than just now, though.

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• chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I have seen a divorce caused by the presence of a kid.

  Coworker and her husband adopted a teenager who had issues. He started physically assaulting my coworker and she didn’t feel safe in the house and wanted the kid gone. Husband said they’d made a promise to care for and love him. In the end, he chose the kid over his wife and they ended up divorced.

  Also - I first heard this story from her when she had a breakdown about it on my first day at the job when I went to ask for the key to the supply closet.

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• lobut@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I always found it funny in the Between Two Ferns bloops when Zach asks that to Brie:

  www.youtube.com/shorts/si-HCqwJcW4

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s a top notch clip, thank you.

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• petersr@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  True. But.

  Kids put a lot of stress on parents relationships.

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• captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Oh thank fuck, my mom blamed me for not divorcing my father /hj

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