Comment on Why do people care so much that their friend or family member’s partner is attractive and not just loving?

• erin@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Nothing irks me more than the “sharing your unasked for opinion at any time is just telling the truth” crowd. Come on. You must know the difference between honesty and integrity for the sake of good communication and being insensitive because it’s “the truth.” You’re not being honest, regardless of the truth of your beliefs, you’re being a dick if you tell someone they’re not attractive without being asked.

  If someone asks, “Am I attractive,” not fishing for compliments but asking for an opinion, you wouldn’t be a dick for saying “I wouldn’t describe you as conventionally attractive,” or “you aren’t my type, so not to me.” You would still be a dick for saying either of those things to someone who didn’t ask, or delivering your answer in an inconsiderate manner. Truth doesn’t make your words right. You can be correct and still very wrong.

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  • masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • erin@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Can you elaborate? What is “honest and open” about being rude to someone for no reason?

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      • masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Lmao, yeah, keep going, you’ve almost gotten yourself off

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• Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Honesty is telling the truth to people. Openness is feeling free to express yourself. Empathy is considering other people’s perspectives and taking their feelings into account. People should practice the last one before impulsively acting based on the first 2. It’s called being an adult member of society.

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  • masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • Pandemanium@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Your personal judgements about others are not “an elephant in the room” that needs to be talked about. They are not objective facts. Ask yourself, when you think someone is unattractive, why is it so important to you that they know you think they are unattractive? What do you think you are accomplishing by bringing it up?

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      • masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        [deleted]

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    • SolOrion@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s not about being open and honest. It’s about that not being relevant. Your opinion on how someone looks isn’t relevant, helpful, or necessary unless it’s directly asked for.

      There’s nothing awkward, nervous, or repressed about not going out of your way to open your mouth and make someone feel bad about themselves. You can simply not fucking say something that crosses your mind.

      “Brutally honest” people are incredibly annoying. They think they’ve discovered a social cheat code so they can get away with being an absolute ass because they’re just an Honest Person™.

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    • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      beating around the bush

      everything that could possibly be sensitive

      Being nervous and awkward

      avoiding the elephant in the room

      self consciousness

      You’re literally strawman-ing what I said. Empathy is considering others. It really is that simple…

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    • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Sounds like someone didn’t check their empathy before posting honestly!

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• relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  My friend is blunt, my dad is rude

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• samus12345@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Being shallow and being honest are not mutually exclusive. At all.

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