I am unsure if that is completely true as my past experience in the lifestyle was that everyone was very on top of regular STD (think you meant this not SDI) testing and safe sex practices to protect all involved, whereas normal dating there is a lot less of that plus secret polycules you are not even aware you are in (cheating). Not seen a study on this but this was my observation at least.
Comment on sus
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours agoif only SDI’s weren’t a thing, polycules would be great….
but, i’d rather be single than have to deal with pustules on my genitals for life….
….
i bet they’d all be cured by now if idiots didn’t see it as some divine retribution….
ImmersiveMatthew@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
Hugin@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Yeah my fluid bonded girlfriend had a condom break with her other boyfriend. So she just told me and we switched to condoms until she could get retested. No big deal.
If we hadn’t been poly it would either have been a I cheated on you conversation or worse she exposed my to possible STD without my consent.
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
STI… but the problems with people cheating are present in polycules or any other relationship…
people lie and cheat….i’m not saying they’re completely bad and nobody should ever do it (sorry downvoters, you have my blessings), it’s just the kind of thing that concerns me in these scenarios….
afaik, people tend to do things like get herpes, not tell anyone, and tell people it’s not even worth tripping over… just a lil herpes…
and as long as your polycule isn’t a closed loop, it’s essentially infinitely large….
YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Personally I would never be in a relationship with someone who would do that but i am pretty picky with very firm boundaries.
pupbiru@aussie.zone 13 hours ago
STIs are all curable, treatable, or preventable
frezik@midwest.social 13 hours ago
As someone in a polycule, that could very soon not be true.
andros_rex@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Herpes can be spread, even with condoms. Often asymptomatic, also so common/with a test that is also so prone to false positives that they don’t test for it in most panels.
PREP, PEP, and doxyPREP are great things. There should also be no stigma around STI’s - a large chunk of adults get one at some point in their lives. Trich or HPV I think the vast majority of people don’t even know.
The big thing is that everyone should be an adult and open/honest about their risks and tolerances. The more partners you have, the more likely a condom is to break or something is to go wrong. There’s a balance in all things.
pupbiru@aussie.zone 9 hours ago
that’s a much more reasonable way of putting it that i did, yes, thank you
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
that is grossly oversimplifying things
pupbiru@aussie.zone 9 hours ago
would you like to elaborate?
because
- HIV is preventable through PrEP
- gonorrhoea is curable with antibiotics
- syphilis is curable with antibiotics
- chlamydia is curable with antibiotics
- mgen is curable with antibiotics
- many of the above are preventable with DoxyPEP
- herpes is treatable
- HPV is preventable through vaccination
damnedfurry@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Watch out for those sexually dransmitted illnesses
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
people really hate typos
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Don’t be a grammar Elon
Gurei@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
Yeah, anyone practicing safely can avoid that issue.
WhiteRabbit_33@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Yep, this is exactly it. Practice safe sex, get on PrEP for HIV prevention, talk about testing and status with any potential sexual partners in or out of the polycule, and get tested every 3-6 months.
Hugin@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Yeah. My polycule is small but my friend is in a big multinational one. They have a google doc spreadsheet with STD results and sexual relationship tracking (fluid bonded, barriers, etc).
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
yes because you can absolutely trust and guarantee safety amongst everyone in your polycule, and because you can totally be safe from STI’s that are transmitted by skin contact….
you can be safer, but not safe
YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Yeah it’s better to just be alone forever. Isolation smisolation
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
nothing is completely safe… walking down the street isn’t completely safe….
acknowledging risks isn’t the same as saying don’t take any risks….
chump.
Hupf@feddit.org 8 hours ago
Trust isn’t a numbers thing.