Comment on The consequences (of my actions) have been extreme

• papertowels@mander.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If you think going down on someone is only a submissive act you haven’t gone down on someone long enough.

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  • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    thats not what i think im explaining the insult

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• MTK@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Being submissive in sex can be expressed in a blowjob, but so can being dominant. Most sexual acts can be both dominant and submissive under the right context. For example a person can forcibly (consensually) throw the other person down, pin them to the floor and start going down on them while not letting them orgasm. Is the person being overpowered and forced to be frustrate by not orgasming the one in power?

  Your understanding of mutual respect and love is unhealthy if you compare going down on someone to bootlicking.

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  • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    im comparing an insult to bootlicking. jesus christ you people really feel like arguing over absolutely nothing

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    • MTK@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I think you are missing the point, which is that “cocksucker” should not be used as an insult because it’s homophobic. Even if you personally identify it as a power dynamic insult, it does not change the fact that it is rooted in homophobia and that the OOP most likely used it without any thought as to its meaning and history but rather it just came to him as a viable insult (internalized homophobia)

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      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        or maybe i’m just gay and i think cocksucker is a funny insult, but no i must be homophobic, clearly that’s the only option.

        This shits just not that complicated bro, it’s language, doesn’t matter where an insult came from if it’s use is broadly different in modern lexicon. Some fascinating psychoanalysis of random people on the internet.

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      • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        i never thought of it as a homophobic insult because plenty of straight bi etc also suck cocks, if ive ever heard cocksucker in a homophobic context ive always heard a certain slur right after it

        to me, cocksucker reminds me of a prison dynamic, where its more about the power of making someone suck your cock vs them being just gay for sucking cock

        but at the end of the day it dont matter we’re all just arguing about an insult homophobic or not i dont think its a good use of our time to continue to argue about its semantics

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• abbotsbury@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Okay but like, in regular penis-in-vagina sex, the man is (theoretically) giving pleasure to the woman while also doing all the work. Is that still power play? Is pussyfucker the same as cocksucker?

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  • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    i mean yeah, pussyfucker if you used as an insult would be quite a weird insult to throw, but it would work i suppose.

    Motherfucker is also in the same vein like the other commenter suggested.

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  • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    pussyfucker isnt an insult ive ever heard but motherfucker is

    cocksucker reminds me of the prison mentality of making someone your bitch so thats where im getting the power play from

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    • abbotsbury@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Exactly, pussyfucker isn’t an insult because traditionally there was nothing wrong with fucking pussy, but calling someone a cocksucker is implying they’re either gay or a woman

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      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        that’s also a fundamentally flawed argument though. Unless you’re like actively raping someone, there’s nothing inherently wrong with fucking a woman. That’s why the implication of cocksucker and motherfucker matter, obviously someone fucks everyones mother, but it’s the implication that people who are “motherfuckers” would fuck your mother just to be a problem.

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      • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        why arent you explaining motherfucker then?

        and funny how your mind goes straight to homophobia or misogyny, when there are other interpretations for cocksucker

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• Redfox8@mander.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  So, if you were to replace ‘cocksucker’ with ‘towelhead’, slut, Yid, or Nig*** would that still just be a power thing?

  Not that it actually makes a difference. This ‘power thing’ you refer to is controlling abuse for self interest. Introducing a predudice is just a way of trying to justify and/or hide the abuse.

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  • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    im sorry are we equating cocksucker, and the n word to be on the same level of offensive slur?

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    • Redfox8@mander.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      No, the discussion was not about whether different words were of equal or differing offensiveness. My discussion is about what saying ‘it’s a power thing’ actually means and how it relates to abusive behaviour.

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      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        i suppose that’s fair. But it’s also an insult. They’re not meant to be nice.

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