Not that you asked for advice, but if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I’d try role playing a scenario before ever actually doing it. Like she pretends she doesn’t want to, even though she does, and she gets to experience you saying bossy/dismissive things while she’s actively consenting. Consensual non-consent is a real thing, but people on both ends need to have a pretty good grasp of the situation. Plenty of people realize they’re not actually into a kink they thought they had once it becomes even just pretend real. The role playing phase (or ramp up phase depending on the kink) is sometimes helpful to people new to kink. Although it’s not the same as engaging in the kink, I’d recommend it as a first step almost universally.
The fact she was anti safe word is obviously a red flag, and I wouldn’t do anything with someone uninterested in safe words.
djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
Yeah, I’ve always felt like forced sex sounds hotter than it actually is. It sounds so romantic, and everyone thinks they can get in the mood as soon as their partner wants them, but the reality doesn’t quite line-up the same. A pretty key part of any consensual non-consent is setting up a word to break the scene though, so I dunno if I’d beat yourself up too much about it. If she wasn’t in the mood, she should have let you know.
drasglaf@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
I did try to set a safe word prior to that incident but she laughed it off and said we didn’t need one. Fortunately things never got really ugly, even if this is not the only crazy fantasy she pestered me with.
djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
Yikes, laughing at wanting a safe word is a huge red flag IMO. Sounds like you dodged a bullet in the end.
drasglaf@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
The best part is, she’s 15 years older than me, she should have been more experienced and level-headed about her kinks.
I’m a but slow, it took me a decade to dodge it.
Sixtyforce@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Basically like she said, you both have to happen to be horny in the moment anyways or it’s just a shit time. Use a safeword to stop when not into it, instead of actually saying stop. It’s usually just a roleplay fetish anyways.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 week ago
Same reason people think horror games are “fun” for some reason. Until they are screaming in terror.