HelixDab2

@HelixDab2@lemm.ee

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨sus⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I would have to look up names, but yes, all of the sex therapists and relationship counselors that I have personally heard talking about it specifically say that it’s a very advanced form of relationship, that it’s far, far more difficult than any conventional/monogamous relationship, and that most of the people doing them are doing them badly.

  Is that authoritative? No. There definitely could be selection bias in that the podcasts and interviews that I choose to listen to, and the articles that I choose to read, that touch on sex, sexuality, and relationships are also ones that will confirm my opinion. (And this opinion, BTW, did not exist before I was in a multiamorous relationship for about 3, maybe 4 years.) I like to think that I’m pretty open about sex, sexuality, and relationships, that I don’t assign any particular morality to any given practice, and that I look largely at how well people find their own individual needs being met within relationships rather than whether the structure is A or B. But, at the same time, I was raised in a culture that is primarily monogamous (often serially monogamous), and normalizes that style of relationship, so I might have unconscious implicit bias.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What are some good examples of "Where the fuck do you go" kind of games?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I would love to see a complete remake of Daggerfall with the same randomly generated dungeons; I’m not sure that the random landscape and dungeon generation would work with the way games are programmed now though.

  Come to think of it, re-doing Morrowind, Arena, Battlespire, and Redquard would be neat, too.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨sus⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  My opinion is strictly anecdotal; I’m not a professional, I can only speak to what I’ve personally seen, and that may or may not be representative.

  OTOH, if sex and relationship counselors are saying that the overwhelming majority of people are doing multiamory badly, then their opinions have a lot more weight. Are they necessarily correct? No, of course not, any more than the opinion of any one doctor could be full of shit (see also: any doctor that thinks trans-ideology is a woke-mind virus, or whatever they’re saying now). But it has a lot more weight than opinions of non-professionals.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨sus⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  None of what I said is restricted to any specific form of multiamorous relationship, or any sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. Most of the people trying to engage in polyerotic relationships–by which I mean the overwhelming majority–are people that have signed up for an ultramarathon before they can successfully complete a 5k fun run.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨sus⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  <serious> They mostly don’t. Poly people think they do, but you see far, far more relationship volatility in polyerotic relationships than you do in monogamous.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Instead of Orange Man doing Tariffs would it not have been better for him to talk about shopping locally and so forth. And giving more tax breaks to companies that stay and sell in the US?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Weeelllllll…

  We’re violating trade agreements with our tariffs. But giving tax breaks to companies that re-shore industry would also likely violate trade agreements, because it would create ‘unfair competition’. Kinda like the way that China has given subsidies to certain industries–such as solar panel producers–has created unfair competition, since they have far lower costs than other solar panel producers. As such, tax breaks and incentives would probably also hurt our trade relations, because we would essentially be taking jobs out of other countries. …But that would probably hurt out relations with other countries far, far less than what we’re doing now.

  Honestly, there’s not a great way to bring manufacturing jobs back in a way that doesn’t harm our relationships with other countries, or our national interests in some way. By purchasing shit from companies with lower labor costs/standards of living/higher levels of labor abuse/etc., we’ve undercut our ability to produce the same goods at a competitive price while also keeping our own standards. Even if we went back to pay ratios between workers and executives that existed 50 years ago (I think that lowest to highest ratio in large companies was about 150:1 in the late 60s), that wouldn’t be enough to keep our living standards, avoid labor abuses, and still be competitive with shit we get from China.

  This is compounded by the fact that we do have some of this manufacturing in the US, because it’s more-or-less required by the Barry Amendment (USC 10 §2533(a)). But the costs are astronomical. Take a backpack made by Mystery Ranch. Their Black Jack 80–identical to the USSOCOM SPEAR Patrol bag they make, just with another name–is $1200. The version that’s made in Vietnam and is not Barry-compliant, was about $400. The materials and craftsmanship were substantially identical, but the fabrics were sourced from outside the US, and the manufacturing was done outside the US. There’s no reasonable way that the US gov’t can subsidize those kinds of costs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Instant rotten milk⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  So what’s happening here is that the carbonic acid in the carbonated water is curdling the milk. You can get the same effect by adding any acid to milk. If you’re cooking, your recipe calls for buttermilk, and you don’t have any, you can substitute regular milk that you’ve added a tablespoon of vinegar to (stir, wait about five minutes before adding).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Unfortunately happens too often I think⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  …Shouldn’t that be the other way around…?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Just ask him what he’s doing when she makes those noises, because you want to try it out on your girlfriend (or have your boyfriend do it to you, either/or, I ain’t gonna judge).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tigers 🐅 🐯⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Related to this - all fabrics used by the military need to be both Berry-amendment compliant, and NIR compliant. What that means is that, first, they need to be made in the USA (because you don’t want to outsource military equipment if you end up going to war with the country that makes shit for you), and second, it needs to not show up like a sore thumb under infrared light, A lot of fabrics and dyes will show up as hot spots under IR, which means that they show up great with night vision. NIR-compliant fabrics will still appear camouflaged under IR.

  That’s why those nylon-cotton blend Crytek combat pants are something like $450, when the Chinese knock-offs made in poly-cotton are about $70.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ain't your buddy, pal!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What up, fucko?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You’re making a ton of straw-man arguments.

  1. You don’t have to be the best. You do have to be good enough to get scouted by a professional team if your goal is to play professionally. I never at any point said that it wasn’t worth playing if you couldn’t be the best or do it professionally. I spend a lot of time shooting competitively; it’s likely that I will never make Master or Grandmaster in anything, and as a result I’m never going to be sponsored or be able to earn a living at it. (…Not that the money is very good anyways.) So what? I still have fun.

  2. In sports, playing professionally is a meritocracy. Socioeconomic class matters insofar as having more wealth and privilege means that you’ll have access to better training prior to becoming a professional. But the child in question already has access to training, through a parent that plays professionally. But that’s all the farther that socioeconomic class gets you in sports. People from poorer backgrounds often get to go far in sports, if they have the skill.

  3. Yes, OP could be wrong. On the other hand, OP is claiming to be a professional in the field, and is therefore more likely to have an informed opinion.

  4. Success is a combination of directed effort, an inherent capability; it’s not one or the other. If you lack certain inherent capabilities, then all the directed effort in the world won’t get you where you want to be. You can have all the gifts to achieve greatness in a given field, and yet fail completely if you don’t carefully direct your ability in that area.

  5. See above. The kid already has access to top-tier training, and is not making the grade necessary to perform at a professional level. Ergo, the part that is lacking is capability. …Which is why my anecdote is relevant; it’s not my unwillingness to work my ass off that has limited my power lifting aspirations, it’s my physical capabilities. (And yes, I really did work at power lifting. And will again once my shoulder finished healing, even though I’m never going to be competitive at any level.)

  6. Of course the kid isn’t going to be at the same level forever. But he’s not on track to be at a level where he’s capable of playing professionally. A 16yo that’s capable of going pro–esp. when they have access to high-level training–would be expected to be performing at a certain level. According to OP, he isn’t. The probability is that, while he will continue to improve (up until age catches up with him), he is not going to be at a professional level in time to make a career of it.

  7. You’re drawing a false dichotomy between being honest/realistic with your children, and having a relationship with them. I’m gathering, from what you’re saying, that you don’t believe that the parent should give their child a realistic assessment of their performance, and should simply be encouraging; it that correct? It seem like you believe that putting all of your effort into a goal, and failing to achieve that goal would not cause deep bitterness on its own; am I reading that correctly?

  8. “It’s my opinion that it’s better for parents to encourage their children in their dreams […]” I partially disagree. I think that parents need to encourage children to set realistic goals in life, and goals that can be stretch goals. Maybe that looks like going to school to become a biologist, and going on to medical school if biology ends up being fairly easy for them. Maybe that looks like going into a trade if they’re good at working with their hands. Playing professional sports–or being a touring musician that makes enough to live on, etc.–is like winning a jackpot in the lottery. Sure, you gotta play in order to win, but for every person that wins there’s millions of people that don’t. I would hope that you would say that anyone planning for retirement by buying lottery tickets was a fool, even if that person was your child. But even so, you can play sport for fun.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  if he’s not great at football even though he’s living with a pro, that shows me how little you value him.

  Some people simple don’t have the ability to be good at some things, no matter how hard they work at it, no matter who mentors them. Very, very few people have the ability to be a Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart regardless of what kind of mentorship they have.

  Let me give you a concrete example.

  I’ve had a major shoulder surgery after tearing the shit out of my supraspinatus and the labrum. The supraspinatus passes through the acromium process on the scapula. The acromium process has roughly three different shapes, which are largely determined by genetics. A type I acromium process is smooth, and allows the spuraspinatus to pass through easily. Type II and type III acromium processes have pronounced ‘hook’ shapes–type III significantly more so–that make injury to the supraspinatus much more probable. I have a type II acromium process. Had Mary Lou Retton been my mother and coach, and I’d tried to be a gymnast, I would have destroyed both of my shoulders long before I was ever going to be going to nation-level events; the limits of the shape of my scapula would have made success impossible, given that a strong and stable shoulder is required in gymnastics, regardless of sex/gender. I would likewise be unable to be a competitive powerlifter, for much the same reason; working up to a nationally competitive snatch would have also destroyed my shoulders. (And, in point of fact, it was working on push-presses that killed it.)

  People are not a tabula rasa, only needing the proper encouragement to become paragons in a given field.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How does one snap their fingers?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Industrial-metal classic.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why dont more people live in smaller communities , appart from economic opportunity (WFH is making it possible if not prefferable too)⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  If I could get a fully remote job and move to the middle of BFE… Well, I’m considering doing that without a remote job, and just accepting that any job I can get will take a longer commute and probably earn pay less. I lived in Chicago for more than a decade, lived in San Diego a few years. Currently I live in a rural part of my state, but the city keeps creeping nearer, and I’m seeing farms in my county get bulldozed to put in yet another housing development “…starting from the low, low $600s!” of identical, oversized, characterless houses with 1/4 acres plots of land and no trees.

  I don’t want neighbors. I want trees, deer eating my hostas, raccoons trying to tear open my garbage bins, and bears being oversized raccoons. I want candles and laterns in every room because the power goes out every time there’s a thunderstorm, a woodburning stove that I can feed with trees that get blown down, and enough land that I can raise goats, chickens, and do a little dirt farming, in addition to my job. I want to opt out of this goddamn rat race, and just have a quiet place where I can offer people refuge from the bullshit that’s happening around us.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Since militaries are authoritarian, even in democratic countries; What would a military of a stateless/anarchist society look like?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I think that the YPJ calls themselves something like democratic syndicalists? It’s close enough to anarchism that it’s the easiest way for most people to understand it. The way that they’re organizing their communities is pretty special, and I hope that they’re able to keep their regions autonomous and maintain their ideals.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Today's Survey. One point for everything that you have NEVER DONE⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  1 point. I’ve never personally owned a physical encyclopedia. I’ve def. used them though.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hey, do americans just want to take a break from normal politics for a bit and focus all our efforts solely on the wild boar problem?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  A lot of the prices have corrected, just not all the way down to pre-pandemic level. I remember that primers were flat-out unavailable for a long time, then they were breaking $.10/ea for really cheap SPPs. 9mm ammo was >50cpr for a while, too. Both are down now, but not down to the $.03 for primers, or 20cpr for 9mm. Some of it is inflation in general. Some of it is that there are more people buying guns and ammo now, and there’s a pretty sharp lag between demand and production, since no one wants to build new factories for temporary demand spikes; increased demand is driving up prices. Also, fun fact, a lot of companies that make AR-15s are getting very close to insolvency right now. Each person only needs so many AR-15 variants, and the market is super-saturated. That’s less of an issue with ammo, since it’s a consumable, but it still worries the companies that would be building new plants.

  Yeah, I still wish ammo was a lot cheaper, but it is what it is. Instead of high-volume shooting, it means more time dry-firing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ARMADILL-NO⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  One of mine doesn’t watch, she jumps into my lap and curls up.

  :|

  I think my cat is a perv.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ARMADILL-NO⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Also, armadillos tend to carry leprosy. So, maybe don’t touch them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hey, do americans just want to take a break from normal politics for a bit and focus all our efforts solely on the wild boar problem?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  If I was going to guess, the actual numbers killed are far, far lower than that. Especially since there are a lot of very large private hunting preserves that intentionally try to keep their feral pig population high so that they can attract paying hunters.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hey, do americans just want to take a break from normal politics for a bit and focus all our efforts solely on the wild boar problem?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Man, I wish good .308 ammo was only $1/round… Even if I’m loading it myself, good 6.5CM ammo (defined as sub-MOA performance) costs about $1/ea. with Hornady 147gr ELD-M bullets, and that’s only if I ignore how much I’ve sunk into a press and case prep.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hey, do americans just want to take a break from normal politics for a bit and focus all our efforts solely on the wild boar problem?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The problem is that there are not nearly enough people that hunt to even keep the population stable through hunting. The fact that hog hunting has become a business is the reason that real solutions to wiping out feral populations aren’t making headway.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Which is the cheapest way to manage my body after death ...⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Have your corpse wrapped in a tarp and weighted down with concrete blocks from a construction site, and have it tossed in an abandoned quarry. That’s probably about the cheapest way; should only cost about $10 for the tarp, and then gas money.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What Can We Do to Get Youth into Ham Radio?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Allow encryption.

  I don’t want to talk on open air with anyone and everyone able to listen in.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are old people usually attracted to other old people?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  […]if you’re male and your partner is female then I’m surprised that she has any interest in things like Thundercats or He-Man regardless of her age.

  First, I wouldn’t suggest assuming that.

  Second, the point isn’t that a partner has to like these things, but they do have to have some kind of awareness of them. You could substitute Smurfs, Family Ties, Michael Jackson’s breakout album Thriller, or watching the Challenger explode on live television because everyone in the school was watching Sally Ride go into space. Or George Bush’s famous “Read my lips: no new taxes” speech. There are a million events that are foundational to who you become. When the person that you’re dating–or in a relationship with–don’t share any of those cultural moments, it’s much more difficult to build a lasting relationship. Not impossible, but harder; that’s true with any cross-cultural relationship as well.

  Common interests are nice, yeah, but they aren’t everything. Shared values—and values are very strongly shaped by the things you were exposed to growing up–are probably the single biggest thing; if you don’t share core belief systems (morals, ethics, what is important, meaning, etc.), then it’s unlikely that a relationship can survive.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are old people usually attracted to other old people?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m… Unfortunately older than I wish I was. I am very solidly Gen X. I still find young people physically attractive. But I also find people my own age attractive; I most certainly would not have found people my age attractive when I was in my 20s. Even though I may find younger people attractive, I have zero interest in relationships with them. Not only do I already have a partner, but I simply have nothing in common with most of them. If I make references to Thundercats or He-Man, that shit is going to go entirely over their heads, and I’m likewise not going to understand any of their cultural references.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨MAGA Republican Logic⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The precise opposite is also true though; bans simply don’t work, period.

  Yes, people should have the right to abortion. I think that there are some ethical issues surrounding things like sex-based abortions (which are a huge issue in Asian countries in particular), but that’s not really relevant to the US for the most part.

  Yes, I support decriminalizing marijuana. And most drugs in general. I also support single-payer healthcare that would, among other things, make drug-addiction treatment available to anyone that wants it, since forced addiction treatment almost always fails, I also support other social programs–paid for with a highly progressive tax–that would reduce or eliminate most of the root causes for addiction.

  I see no issues with drag shows. It’s not my thing, but I also don’t like hip-hop or historical romance films. So what? My preferences aren’t a rational basis for legal bans.

  I think that immigration is complicated, mostly because we live in a capitalist society where the capital-owning class always seeks to reduce the value of labor in order to extract more value for themselves. Immigrants can usually be exploited to reduce labor costs, because undocumented migrants have very few legal protections against sub-minimum off-the-books wages or wage theft. I think that legal status and strong, universal labor unions would help with this, but I don’t know what the absolute solution would be.

  You literally can not ban trans kids; kids are going to be transgender whether or not they’re permitted to express it. The entire idea of banning trans kids defies all logic and reason. At best you would be making trans children feel more isolated and alone, which would lead to higher rates of major mental illness and suicidality.

  Banning dialogue on racism is a clear 1A violation.

  Banning books by LGBTQ authors is a clear 1A violation, as is preventing minors from having access to them. You get into some grey area when it comes to pornography, but given that I could have checked out 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade from my local library as a minor, I don’t think most written works would realistically qualify as ‘lacking artistic or literary merit’.

  And, finally -

  Yeah, I 100% oppose gun bans, magazine bans, feature bans, and so on. I think the National Firearms Act of 1934 should be repealed as a clear 2A violation. I oppose the parts of the Firearm Owners Protection Act that prevent the transfer of new machine guns to citizens and resident aliens. The claim for gun bans is that they prevent violence; that’s stupid. The way to prevent violence isn’t the elimination of the tools, but the elimination of the cause. Democrats want to ban the tools, but don’t seriously attempt to address the root issues even when they have a supermajority in a state (see also: MA, NJ, NY, CA, etc.). Republicans neither care about the tools nor the causes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What’s a movie nobody can convince you is good?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  That was a pretty roundly panned movie.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it possible to eat a toxic amount of culinary herbs/spices?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Fun fact: alprazolam (Xanax) also has a ridiculously high LD50, about 1220mg/kg in female rats. For a human that weighs 57kg, that works out to 69.5 grams, or about 2.5oz of pure alprazolam. The maximum dose for prescription is 4mg, or .004g; you would need to ingest >17,000 4mg bars of Xanax to consume a fatal dose.

  Almost all of the time, “fatal overdoses” of Xanax are in combination with other drugs, like alcohol, which can act as a synergist and depress respiration. But most of the time, you’ll just black out for a few days.

  (But. We don’t know that actual LD50 in humans, only in rats and mice. It’s possible that the human LD50 is either lower or higher.)