People be down voting you, but as someone in a years long poly relationships, most people are definitely not capable of handling it. Most people can’t even handle monogamous relationships.
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HelixDab2@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
<serious> They mostly don’t. Poly people think they do, but you see far, far more relationship volatility in polyerotic relationships than you do in monogamous.
Lumiluz@slrpnk.net 4 weeks ago
phlegmy@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
I feel like there’s too many poly relationship structures to be able to generalise them all like that.
There’s plenty of people who have open relationships, where two people have a very close relationship (sometimes married) but they aren’t sexually exclusive with each other.
I’d also wager that some poly relationship structures would be more stable for lgbt people rather than heterosexual people, solely on the idea that everyone could participate more equally.
HelixDab2@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
None of what I said is restricted to any specific form of multiamorous relationship, or any sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. Most of the people trying to engage in polyerotic relationships–by which I mean the overwhelming majority–are people that have signed up for an ultramarathon before they can successfully complete a 5k fun run.
phlegmy@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
We’re really just sharing opinions though, not facts.
I haven’t found any solid evidence that poly relationships are inherently more difficult or prone to failure than monogamous relationships. Long-lasting relationships are just hard in general.
HelixDab2@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
My opinion is strictly anecdotal; I’m not a professional, I can only speak to what I’ve personally seen, and that may or may not be representative.
OTOH, if sex and relationship counselors are saying that the overwhelming majority of people are doing multiamory badly, then their opinions have a lot more weight. Are they necessarily correct? No, of course not, any more than the opinion of any one doctor could be full of shit (see also: any doctor that thinks trans-ideology is a woke-mind virus, or whatever they’re saying now). But it has a lot more weight than opinions of non-professionals.