jbrains

@jbrains@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨how do I become the dullest, most boring coworker so this needy man leaves me alone?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You’re not responsible for meeting this man’s needs. You don’t need to trick him. “Please leave me alone.” If he does not do this simple thing, then you have not committed any offence and you can train yourself not to feel bad about it. You already meditate, so you might make your tendency to feel bad about this into a object of meditation.

  Unfortunately, you can’t control his behavior. He might still try to sit down next to you and talk to you about things that don’t interest you. I don’t know what more you can do than ask him to stop doing this and hope he complies. “Please stop doing this. I’m just not interested. I prefer to be alone.” It is compassionate to say nothing more than this.

  As for why you’re like this, that’s very likely because someone taught to you to care about other people’s feelings and didn’t teach you that their feelings are not your fault. This seems pretty common.

  The stories you tell yourself about why he does this and the stories you tell yourself to explain your own behavior… they probably don’t help you much, do they?

  Peace.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If a contestant on Jeopardy! gave the correct response "Alexandre Dumas" but pronounced the surname as "dumb ass", would the response be accepted?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  How strange. I never pronounced it any other way. I don’t think of it as a regionalism. I grew up near Toronto.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If a contestant on Jeopardy! gave the correct response "Alexandre Dumas" but pronounced the surname as "dumb ass", would the response be accepted?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Strange conceptions?

  Yes. That’s humor.

  Tsunami doesn’t start with a T sound, It’s just a strange artifact of the romanization of the Japanese sounds.

  Yes, and English speakers have an established collective inconsistency regarding whether to pronounce loanwords anywhere on the spectrum from (somewhat) faithfully to the original language to transcribed to entirely reinterpreted with English pronouciation norms. To declare that the “t” in that word is silent overstates the situation. At most, it’s optional.

  I pronounce those cities as two syllables, although it doesn’t bother me when others don’t. I also pronounce “Mangione” as three, even though I don’t overdo it on the Italian vowels.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If a contestant on Jeopardy! gave the correct response "Alexandre Dumas" but pronounced the surname as "dumb ass", would the response be accepted?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Typically, yes. Pronunciation mistakes are not ruled incorrect unless they change the spelling of the name or word, such as adding consonants. Ken corrects the pronunciation without calling the mistake out, usually, although he labors under strange conceptions, such as insisting in not pronouncing the initial “t” in “tsunami” and “tsar”.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Would social events be better if phones didn't have data?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  People can choose. It is even better when they choose.

  It’s fairly well established that experiencing the moment does more to promote one’s mental health than not.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What gives you hope to keep going?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The alternative is certain death. If I were satisfied with that outcome, I’d already be dead.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Not disparaging the dead or anything. But why does it seem in the US we are expected to feel sorry for a person who overdoses on illegal drugs? Didn't they make the choice knowing the outcome?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  There is an emerging field of research that reframes addiction as a reasonable reaction to traumatic conditions. This doesn’t explain all addiction, but it seems to explain a large amount of it. We are learning how complex a condition addiction can be and that makes it easier to feel compassion for these folks.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What do you create?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  A hopeful path towards peace for people who struggle with stress at their job.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is there a word, phrase, or trope for an idea that gets more popular the more it fails?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  There’s a certain amount of Gambler’s Fallacy in this, too: I’ll keep going, because it’s going to turn around.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is there any, any takeaways at all from the next 4 years that's about to happen?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Demonizing people who disagree with you makes them dig in their heels and elect the dangerous candidate. Demonizing those people feels good and necessary, but ultimately backfires.

  The so-called enlightened people can’t be counted on to vote. (I say this as one of those so-called enlightened people, albeit not in your country and therefore unable to shift the balance with you.)

  Until you folks figure these two things out, this is your new reality.

  The System is held together with baling wire and gum. Never forget that.

  You will get through this, but you might need help and to help others along the way. I wish you many goods and cheese.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it okay to continue to work for a (non-defense) federal government agency under an administration hostile to my own moral and ethical beliefs?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Yup. Watch The Good Place, then ask again.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are disabled people and the elderly going to survive another Trump presidency?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “Are there no prisons? Are there no work houses?”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm going to try not to swear when you're around. Is this a good apology to a coworker?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “I’ll try not to swear around you. I’m sorry. I will probably not be perfect, but I assure you I’m trying.”

  That’s enough.

  I assume you are genuinely sorry and have decided you want to behave differently around them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the point of a long-distance friendship?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  In that case, I’m not sure you’re missing anything and I’m not even sure you have a problem to solve here.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the point of a long-distance friendship?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I understand better. I might relate, too.

  I’m not the type to keep relationships “alive” by checking in, but at the same time, when someone re-enters my life after even years, it can be as though no time had passed. If I can help, I will. We can chat for minutes or hours. I’m happy to pick up where we left off.

  I have the distinct impression that many other people don’t operate this way. I do. Do you?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the point of a long-distance friendship?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The same as any friendship: mutual support and love. What you’re describing sounds like an acquaintance to me, not a friend, if conversations don’t develop past small talk. Maybe that’s what you’re missing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why do cell phones have a data limit but home internet doesn't?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Where are my Rogers home internet customers at? 🇨🇦

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why does it seem the majority of protests in the US are to oppose something while so many protests in other countries are looking to influence improving something?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  As for the difference, there’s a lot more Learned Helplessness in the Republic of Gilead than there is in, say, northern Europe. 🤷‍♂️

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why does it seem the majority of protests in the US are to oppose something while so many protests in other countries are looking to influence improving something?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Why do things need to improve, generally speaking?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is there a way to have a "watch later" or "favorite" list that works across different websites?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Would bookmark folders suffice for organizing?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How come people like Cosby and Weinstein seem decrpit appearing before a judge or jury? Cosby could barely walk and W had to use a walker. Why do this because it doesn't influence anyone?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  It influences folks subconsciously, which in legal proceedings with a significant public relations component, is powerful and effective. It’s even better to influence people without their conscious awareness that it’s happening. And yes, some folks aren’t taken in by it, but a surprising number are. It would be tantamount to legal malpractice not to advise your client to try. 🙄

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Does alcohol expire? Specifically whiskey?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I have drunk some decades old bottles of wine. I was worried each time that the bottle had become undrinkable, but not that it had become dangerous.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We lost Keanu⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Anyone else remember when Joe Rogan was a harmless comedian?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[USA] How can sales tax brackets affect purchasing behavior when prices are pre-tax?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  FWIW, both big chain grocery stores where I live (in Canada) mark the taxes charged on each item, albeit only with a single-character code that’s explained nearer the bottom of the receipt. I’m surprised that it’s legal anywhere in our respective countries to withhold that information.

  And indeed, even though you can see the nontaxable items clearly on the receipt, that’s not made clear at the shelves where the prices are posted. That’s where they really need to show the price including taxes.

  Some liquor stores in Canada, for example, show both prices: before and after taxes. I’ll let you guess which price is rendered in the smaller font.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨how do I accept that a doctor earns more than double what I do?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  But I also feel like a loser, because even those ranting doctors earn more than twice what I do… and they get to sit for longer than I do.

  Regretting my life choices.

  What kind of “I also feel like a loser” is this feeling?

  Maybe the sane choice here would be to study or to get a certification that means a higher salary?

  What in particular would that get you? I mean beyond the obvious “More money would make my life easier” thought.

  Peace.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨if you ever traveled 1K miles by bus, would you recommend it?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve never done this and would never do it, for all the reasons people have already described.

  I would, however, choose a 6-hour train over a 2-hour flight, as long as I traveled in (European) first/business class with a seat reservation.

  There is almost no amount of money that could convince me to travel 36 hours by bus if I could instead spend 5-6 hours going through airports and only one flight. If I literally didn’t have the money to fly, I would spend all my energy figuring out how not to go at all.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Does a clean PC run better than one with a lot of dust in it?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes.

  Also a machine on fire tends to run a bit more slowly. 🔥😉

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨what's a polite way to reject a picture with a very thankful patient who was under your care?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  You don’t need to explain yourself. Others need to learn to respect your choices about yourself. Yes, it’s tiring. It’s their fault, but partly your problem.

  Your responsibility ends with “Thank you, but no.” Unfortunately, some people will feel hurt by this. You can’t change this; only they can choose to interpret your response differently. And most people never try this.

  If you want to establish your boundaries, then you need to practise letting them feel hurt and not feeling responsible for it. This is one reason I meditate.

  Peace.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I believe that if you faced the judgment and self-hatred, the rest might fall into place. I have two general strategies to suggest, which you could use together.

  1. Practise looking at the thoughts like “I’m lazy” and “I hate myself of for being so lazy” and seeing them for the empty things they are. They’re just thoughts. They’re not even yours. They mean nothing. They consist of nothing.
  2. Look into the reasons for judging yourself lazy and hating yourself for it. Is there a voice you hear in your head saying these things? Whose voice is it? (Is it a person from your past or a part of yourself you can identify?) Maybe you’re reacting to something you were told or taught very young, which was helpful at the time, but not helpful any more.

  Your body wants to conserve energy or it’s afraid of overinvesting energy in practising the piano. If you saw that more clearly, you might more easily identify what to do next.

  I stopped studying piano when I realized that I wasn’t prepared to put in the practice needed to develop the raw finger strength and dexterity to play even medium difficulty Bach fugues. I saw what it took and the effort didn’t interest me enough to stick with it. I have invested that practice energy into something else instead and I feel much happier for it. I have a facility for music, but I’m just not that into it as a technician. I have enough to appreciate virtuosity in others and that’s enough for me. Maybe you can find something similar.

  Peace.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How does renouncing citizenship work?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Countries typically don’t allow that. For example, Canada requires you (at least) to be a citizen of another country and to live outside Canada.