jbrains
@jbrains@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on Is there a word, phrase, or trope for an idea that gets more popular the more it fails? 1 week ago:
There’s a certain amount of Gambler’s Fallacy in this, too: I’ll keep going, because it’s going to turn around.
- Comment on Is there any, any takeaways at all from the next 4 years that's about to happen? 1 week ago:
Demonizing people who disagree with you makes them dig in their heels and elect the dangerous candidate. Demonizing those people feels good and necessary, but ultimately backfires.
The so-called enlightened people can’t be counted on to vote. (I say this as one of those so-called enlightened people, albeit not in your country and therefore unable to shift the balance with you.)
Until you folks figure these two things out, this is your new reality.
The System is held together with baling wire and gum. Never forget that.
You will get through this, but you might need help and to help others along the way. I wish you many goods and cheese.
- Comment on Is it okay to continue to work for a (non-defense) federal government agency under an administration hostile to my own moral and ethical beliefs? 1 week ago:
Yup. Watch The Good Place, then ask again.
- Comment on Are disabled people and the elderly going to survive another Trump presidency? 1 week ago:
“Are there no prisons? Are there no work houses?”
- Comment on I'm going to try not to swear when you're around. Is this a good apology to a coworker? 1 week ago:
“I’ll try not to swear around you. I’m sorry. I will probably not be perfect, but I assure you I’m trying.”
That’s enough.
I assume you are genuinely sorry and have decided you want to behave differently around them.
- Comment on What's the point of a long-distance friendship? 2 weeks ago:
In that case, I’m not sure you’re missing anything and I’m not even sure you have a problem to solve here.
- Comment on What's the point of a long-distance friendship? 2 weeks ago:
I understand better. I might relate, too.
I’m not the type to keep relationships “alive” by checking in, but at the same time, when someone re-enters my life after even years, it can be as though no time had passed. If I can help, I will. We can chat for minutes or hours. I’m happy to pick up where we left off.
I have the distinct impression that many other people don’t operate this way. I do. Do you?
- Comment on What's the point of a long-distance friendship? 2 weeks ago:
The same as any friendship: mutual support and love. What you’re describing sounds like an acquaintance to me, not a friend, if conversations don’t develop past small talk. Maybe that’s what you’re missing.
- Comment on Why do cell phones have a data limit but home internet doesn't? 3 weeks ago:
Where are my Rogers home internet customers at? 🇨🇦
- Comment on Why does it seem the majority of protests in the US are to oppose something while so many protests in other countries are looking to influence improving something? 4 weeks ago:
As for the difference, there’s a lot more Learned Helplessness in the Republic of Gilead than there is in, say, northern Europe. 🤷♂️
- Comment on Why does it seem the majority of protests in the US are to oppose something while so many protests in other countries are looking to influence improving something? 4 weeks ago:
Why do things need to improve, generally speaking?
- Comment on Is there a way to have a "watch later" or "favorite" list that works across different websites? 5 weeks ago:
Would bookmark folders suffice for organizing?
- Comment on How come people like Cosby and Weinstein seem decrpit appearing before a judge or jury? Cosby could barely walk and W had to use a walker. Why do this because it doesn't influence anyone? 5 weeks ago:
It influences folks subconsciously, which in legal proceedings with a significant public relations component, is powerful and effective. It’s even better to influence people without their conscious awareness that it’s happening. And yes, some folks aren’t taken in by it, but a surprising number are. It would be tantamount to legal malpractice not to advise your client to try. 🙄
- Comment on Does alcohol expire? Specifically whiskey? 5 weeks ago:
I have drunk some decades old bottles of wine. I was worried each time that the bottle had become undrinkable, but not that it had become dangerous.
- Comment on We lost Keanu 1 month ago:
Anyone else remember when Joe Rogan was a harmless comedian?
- Comment on [USA] How can sales tax brackets affect purchasing behavior when prices are pre-tax? 1 month ago:
FWIW, both big chain grocery stores where I live (in Canada) mark the taxes charged on each item, albeit only with a single-character code that’s explained nearer the bottom of the receipt. I’m surprised that it’s legal anywhere in our respective countries to withhold that information.
And indeed, even though you can see the nontaxable items clearly on the receipt, that’s not made clear at the shelves where the prices are posted. That’s where they really need to show the price including taxes.
Some liquor stores in Canada, for example, show both prices: before and after taxes. I’ll let you guess which price is rendered in the smaller font.
- Comment on how do I accept that a doctor earns more than double what I do? 2 months ago:
But I also feel like a loser, because even those ranting doctors earn more than twice what I do… and they get to sit for longer than I do.
Regretting my life choices.
What kind of “I also feel like a loser” is this feeling?
Maybe the sane choice here would be to study or to get a certification that means a higher salary?
What in particular would that get you? I mean beyond the obvious “More money would make my life easier” thought.
Peace.
- Comment on if you ever traveled 1K miles by bus, would you recommend it? 2 months ago:
I’ve never done this and would never do it, for all the reasons people have already described.
I would, however, choose a 6-hour train over a 2-hour flight, as long as I traveled in (European) first/business class with a seat reservation.
There is almost no amount of money that could convince me to travel 36 hours by bus if I could instead spend 5-6 hours going through airports and only one flight. If I literally didn’t have the money to fly, I would spend all my energy figuring out how not to go at all.
- Comment on Does a clean PC run better than one with a lot of dust in it? 2 months ago:
Yes.
Also a machine on fire tends to run a bit more slowly. 🔥😉
- Comment on what's a polite way to reject a picture with a very thankful patient who was under your care? 2 months ago:
You don’t need to explain yourself. Others need to learn to respect your choices about yourself. Yes, it’s tiring. It’s their fault, but partly your problem.
Your responsibility ends with “Thank you, but no.” Unfortunately, some people will feel hurt by this. You can’t change this; only they can choose to interpret your response differently. And most people never try this.
If you want to establish your boundaries, then you need to practise letting them feel hurt and not feeling responsible for it. This is one reason I meditate.
Peace.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
I believe that if you faced the judgment and self-hatred, the rest might fall into place. I have two general strategies to suggest, which you could use together.
- Practise looking at the thoughts like “I’m lazy” and “I hate myself of for being so lazy” and seeing them for the empty things they are. They’re just thoughts. They’re not even yours. They mean nothing. They consist of nothing.
- Look into the reasons for judging yourself lazy and hating yourself for it. Is there a voice you hear in your head saying these things? Whose voice is it? (Is it a person from your past or a part of yourself you can identify?) Maybe you’re reacting to something you were told or taught very young, which was helpful at the time, but not helpful any more.
Your body wants to conserve energy or it’s afraid of overinvesting energy in practising the piano. If you saw that more clearly, you might more easily identify what to do next.
I stopped studying piano when I realized that I wasn’t prepared to put in the practice needed to develop the raw finger strength and dexterity to play even medium difficulty Bach fugues. I saw what it took and the effort didn’t interest me enough to stick with it. I have invested that practice energy into something else instead and I feel much happier for it. I have a facility for music, but I’m just not that into it as a technician. I have enough to appreciate virtuosity in others and that’s enough for me. Maybe you can find something similar.
Peace.
- Comment on How does renouncing citizenship work? 3 months ago:
Countries typically don’t allow that. For example, Canada requires you (at least) to be a citizen of another country and to live outside Canada.
- Comment on How does renouncing citizenship work? 3 months ago:
It varies from country to country. Some countries don’t let you become a citizen again after renouncing, while others allow it.
Citizenship is related to taxes (which also varies from country to country), so countries are very interested in being able to establish that you owe them income taxes.
How would your previous country find out? I imagine it’s like any crime: you either do something to make it easier for them (try to renew a passport, fail to file a tax return) or they find you by accident (some investigator notices a connexion between two observations that makes their mind tingle).
There’s probably more, but that’s enough to answer your questions.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
What is the relationship between “they are competing with me” and “I feel like I don’t deserve any of the success that I’ve worked very hard on”?
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Let them. How does this hurt you? What is your actual challenge here?
- Comment on Why are 99,9999999999% of trans people here, disabled? 4 months ago:
What are you actually asking?
- Comment on In our post-AI era, is job security strictly mythical? Or How to believe in careers as a concept worth doing? 5 months ago:
Let it bother you, then don’t let it ruin your day. People are delightful and strange. 🤷♂️
- Comment on In our post-AI era, is job security strictly mythical? Or How to believe in careers as a concept worth doing? 5 months ago:
You are very wrong about that, but I still never fired me. 🤷♂️
- Comment on In our post-AI era, is job security strictly mythical? Or How to believe in careers as a concept worth doing? 5 months ago:
The only who won’t fire you is you.
- Comment on I this a firm and polite way to tell an opinionated coworker to stop pushing his agenda I don't care about? 5 months ago:
“Unsubscribe.”