jayrodtheoldbod

@jayrodtheoldbod@midwest.social

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨No more fucking dooming⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I think a lot of people need to learn the lesson that the commercial leftism they are responding to from online is completely worthless false politics and they are demeaning their own value by engaging with it. Imagine how you’d mock your grampa if you caught him talking back to Tucker Carlson on television like Tucker can hear him or would change his grift if he could.

  That’s you. None of these fake-ass internet leftists are going to change, but they can waste your time, so they do. Cut them loose, forget about them, and start asking the people you talk to in real life if they intend to vote.

  Also, I let go of the “fight against fascism” propaganda when Trump pretended to be shot and every nobody clown on my social feeds started whining their nonviolence bullshit. Sorry? I thought these were Nazis? I thought this was rising fascism? If violence is not appropriate, when will it be? Never?

  Never!! Says the middle-class progressive with their nose in the air. They’re always able to slip away to another country when things get bad, what about you? They can hold their ruling class beliefs painlessly while the boots fall on your neck, not theirs.

  I guess they were just winding me up, huh, and none of it was as important as their sniveling, desperate need for attention at any cost. When push comes anywhere close to shove, I guess you were playing, not a single shot can you bear to see. You made it sound life or death, when it wasn’t, at all. You lied. This election wasn’t that crucial. It’s not “the end of democracy”, or it would make sense to take up arms, like they are in Myanmar. But you lied, and it isn’t that important.

  So I’m done letting e-hype decide how much I care about all this, and how important it is.

  Judging by the reaction to Trump’s little near-miss, it won’t actually be a big deal if he wins. It will just be another shitty Republican that you’ve been overhyping as the devil for the last ten years, and I fell for it, like a rube.

  Don’t get me wrong, I went and voted yesterday, and I intend to keep doing it every time they let me, but the attention farmers don’t get to decide how important anything is, ever again, not for me. I propose you also take a page from my book. More voting, less paying attention to social media.

  If people don’t vote, it will be fine, things will be okay, shit will move on. Get offline, find living people to care about, and let these people scream into the void alone.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pray they don't alter it any further⁩ ⁨⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I bailed on Netflix when I realized that damn, I’m going like a month with this on my phone and haven’t really watched much, maybe one anime? Can I get something other than shitty anime, Netflix? Fun action flick from the last 5 years maybe? No? Never the good one, always the knockoff, the shitty sequel, nothing at all? Canceled Mindhunter? Because of course. Okay, no more pay money, and then I didn’t miss it. That decision took a shameful amount of time to make.

  This was way before the password share thing. I don’t know what the rest of you are even doing. Stuff for the kids I guess.

  I guess I do this bullshit, now, for entertainment, but this Suuuuuucks with a capital S, so the next step is to find the government chip that makes me scroll and metaphorically remove it. Fuck socials, too. Fuck all this shit anymore.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's kinda wild that zombo.com still exists⁩ ⁨⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I got to thinking about IRC some time ago, and how much creative time we spent solving the fundamental problem of how, exactly, to use the internet without needing some sort of middleman, like a crazy person hosting a server for no clear reason, so that we could all communicate together.

  That and designing the thing so that even if the hardware in your closet got hammered with a bajillion visits it wouldn’t stutter because it was all too light weight for that. But also, fuck no I would rather throw myself down the stairs than arrange it so that I have to maintain it a lot. That type of thinking defined an era, and that’s why zombo.com still works.

  I have to put more maintenance into my Gmail account than the zombo guy does into the entire website, is what I’m saying. Return to monke, is what I’m saying.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love is blind⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The first thing that jumped into my head was that meme about American couples where the couple is always Nice, Decently Attractive Woman Plus The Most Racist Man Alive. It’s the same dynamic.

  If the Slavic women aren’t drinking, thus making them all on average prettier than the men because drink makes you ugly, then I fear for what they are actually doing instead. Probably cocaine.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How I cannot be worry??⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Why don’t you simply turn off the unwanted emotion??

  That’s how emotions work, right? Right, that’s how they work.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The White Buffalo⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I swear they keep this character in their back pocket when no actual women have done anything to womanhate about lately. I guess Christmas has been quiet for them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to make two groups of fanboys twitch simultaneously.⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Geordi LaForge looking at the engines with disgust on his face. Bitch you live like this?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Today on "Unsolved Mysteries"...⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Honestly, just don’t settle for the shitty router that your service came with, get that damn thing out from behind the TV or wherever it shouldn’t be, get it up close to the ceiling somehow, and you’ll probably never want to use a fishtape even if you can.

  Mesh networks are probably the solution for apartment dwellers. The routers all act as one router but are separate smaller routers that talk to each other so you can put them all around the house, and you just need to plug them into power. No mods to the apartment are required, it’s all wireless. The catch is expense, but if you buy once, and cry once, then it becomes like a piece of nice furniture that moves with you.

  But again, one $40 modern router that isn’t the shitty combo unit from the ISP, keep it up high and unblocked, get enough extra Cat cable to reach where you put it, and you might be happy enough with that.

  Hell, get the router out from behind the TV if that’s where you put it (everyone tries putting it there to hide it) and you might get all the signal you need.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The four houses dads belong to.⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  They absolutely saw how the AA and C and D and even the 18650 cells that every vape shop carries meant that a single supply of batteries could power any device you need them to and said absolutely the fuck not.

  Never mind the terror that the CEO must feel as he contemplates tools that plug into any wall socket and need no batteries, ever.

  Considering the market for the batteries, handy people with power tools, it’s kind of a shock that we’ve gone down without much fight. No, we won’t make some sort of viral battery carrier that you can 3D print at home, load up with 18650s, and use with an adapter for any tool. Yeah, we’ll just go ahead and buy DeWalt everything now that we bought that one battery pack for $75. Darn, if only I had the kind of tools that were good for grinding off little plastic nubs and shit that gets in the way. Oh well, time for my daily beating, it is what it is.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Outdoor plants are a different breed⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  People certainly are polishing this meme to a high sheen. Anyway, tell it to the pothos ivy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Truly inspirational⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This is how the devil thinks that motivation works. He probably was a chef though.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Merry christmas you weirdos⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  fuck sake i had to check the comments to see a hot dog, like some sort of topology joke

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨BABY POWER⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  direct action

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A long and distinguished family⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Not proper croissant dough, this comes in a can and would make a French baker angry. So it’s real easy to wrap the weenies in.

  Don’t forget about those little weenies that come in a can, sometimes we wrap those in shame dough too.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Jebus Said So.⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I was just gonna get incoherent and then ignore responses to my post

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Be careful when you go for a pee⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  He just keeps pissing on the smoking wreckage like eh, dick’s already out, job’s not done.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Adds new meaning to explosive...⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My personal theory which is not proven is they’re lactose intolerant but they don’t know it. They think Taco Bell is the problem.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Good enough title⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Straight to management with you.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is this the new flex?⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh man I completely forgot about stupid Christmas ornaments.

  I’m like what manner of skibidi toilet-ass Gen Alpha bullshit? Me picturing 12-year-olds wearing these around their necks like rapper chains for some reason I’m too ancient to fathom. Once again, I stand here caught off guard by some huge trend, as I melt slowly back into the earth to die unsung.

  Nah. Just lame super-corporate attempts at a Christmas cash grab. Let’s hang this garbage from some pegs and see if it sells before we chuck it into the dumpster on January 1st. It’s not even going on clearance, it’s going straight in the trash.

  Same shit, different day. Behold, the bedrock of your economy, naked before you. I am relieved. The grave has not taken me, not yet.

  Anyway, carry on then.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  I was like f yeah let these glasses turn into superpowers but then yeah, it’s not even a contest. 1 hr and fully rested is OP, you have to keep it quiet though, don’t let your employer know, or anyone else, or the things become mandatory.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Let's confuse Americans!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Also see a doctor soon.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Let's confuse Americans!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  These personal urinals are great for when you have a big family and only one bathroom but you should really have a lid on it to contain the pee until it can be dumped in the toilet.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fluffy cat⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  We call him Deez

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tradition⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Everyone’s all “I don’t know how InBev became a multibillion dollar global juggernaut corporation, it must have been YOU slovenly alcoholics!”

  The Scots are in the corner, leaning a bit too hard on the bricks, like “If it’s named after your country you pretty much HAVE to drink it! At least we don’t have problems with beer so long as you keep the pint up straight!”

  I can’t understand German so I’m sure that’s why they all sounded so muddy when they talk. Not the huge steins of beer. No. Don’t be silly.

  Spiderman pointing at Spiderman pointing at Spiderman until we all fall the hell down. It’s nice to have something in common.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Might have been an orc⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh dear I seem to have missed a very important meme.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨When you think things are going your way...⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  I kinda want to see a proper Uno tournament just to watch all the grown-ass people throw tantrums when it turns out that no, you can’t stack plus 8 on people, you are no longer abusing your little brother.

  There’s way too much swagger about Uno skills out there from people who just cheat when they know they can. It was amusing 10 years ago, but now I want to watch you stomp out of the room all pissy because you “won” but that’s not what the judge said. It’s time for a new joke.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We dont talk about the Michigan Vampire⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh boy, forbidden lore, I bet he siphons all the gas out of your truck and looks like if Bigfoot was crackhead skinny

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Aged like milk⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  the fuck is wrong with that guy’s eyes he looks like he’s been stung by all the bees

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black Friday⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  when you’re going through the checkout and the amanitas are in a hurry and you’re like uh oh and you’re right

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Which burn was worse? I'm gonna vote for #11.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  “When her IQ reaches 50 she should sell” is probably the wittiest one.

  I’m going to assume that none of these teachers are real, some corndog just pulled this thing out of the fucked up meme engine that makes facebook suck so bad. Some schmuck who writes jokes for morning FM drive time radio probably sat down with a pencil and wrote these.

  If it gets any worse it’s going to say “REAL FRIENDS STAY” in shitty cursive on a purple background and that’s it, that’s the whole meme, because facebook.

  I wonder how close to the bottom of that drain we are now.