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it is fact male ejaculate travels at 28mph. How did they measure that speed?

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Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Patnou@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

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  • GatesMcBalmer@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    They use a device called a Perry Gordan Measurement Device. Named after the two people who invented it. It looks a little like a bowling bag with a fleshlight stuck in it. A volunteer is provided with the erotic material of their choosing to help them achieve erect state and then the subject inserts themself into the fleshlight part and until they ejaculate within the machine. At which point sensitive photo voltaics and micro lasers are used to measure the speed with military accuracy. Or not. Cheers!

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  • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Tiny radar guns.

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  • cattywampas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Just distance divided by time.

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  • MaelGuerra@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    The real question is how fast Superman’s jizz jazzes, or pick omniman if you prefer. Any hyper powerful ejaculating entity, really.

    Because, if you think about a bolus of spunk flying at supersonic speeds, you get great death metal song…

    Came from an alien star Came to bend you over a bar.

    Dna not a factor, balls a nuclear reactor

    Taking all your women Filling them with semen

    I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come!

    Super powered jets of white, filling you up with spite

    Giant, throbbing cock of might; Slamming your wife all damn night.

    Ramming your children too, object and I’ll fuck you

    You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!

    Spreading our race across the galaxy, conquest by spreading seed.

    Our weapon lethal ejaculation, Killing by insemination

    Superior jizm, final cataclysm!

    You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!

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    • bhamlin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      They did that with Hancock. He shoots through the roof of a building.

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  • Gladaed@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    By taking Usain Bolts 100m sprint time and computing his speed.

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