Is Catholic dating culture often mistaken for incel-style pessimistic desperation?

Comments

• PunkRockSportsFan@fanaticus.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  What is catholic dating culture?

  I’ve never heard these words used together.

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  • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s where you try to find a partner that hates themselves as much as you do.

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    • PunkRockSportsFan@fanaticus.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Sounds kinda hot actually

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    • Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I thought that was the Jews.

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• philycheeze@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Is there some kind of write-up or TL;DR for what “Catholic dating culture” is? How is it distinct from Protestant dating culture?

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  • dullbananas@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    • marriage is awesome enough to warrant active effort in dating if one is called to marriage, but not at all costs
    • standards can be good, even if it means staying single
    • no shame or moral inferiority in being single, regardless of age
    • marriage almost always should be with another catholic
    • no premarital sex or cohabitation
    • dating is for finding future spouse, but there’s not too much rush in determining whether or not someone is that future spouse
    • relatively wide variety in how long a couple dates before deciding to marry
    • normal to date in high school, but some people are against it, and some actively encourage it

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    • philycheeze@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Aside from points 4 and 6 I don’t see how that could be specific to Catholics? Maybe I was raised too catholic to tell the difference though.

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    • swordgeek@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Swap Catholic for almost any Abrahamic religion here, and it would still hold true.

      This is identical to what my relatives in the Dutch Reform church accept. It’s not Catholic dating culture.

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• betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It’s not mistaken, no.

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• ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Could you define those two things? I may state that church going Protestant dating is similar but without more info idk

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  • dullbananas@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I defined the first in another comment.

    Incel-style pessimistic desperation: persistently sad because no girlfriend; horny; wants an easy short path to having girlfriend; making the other person happier is probably not part of why they start to want romance

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• Fondots@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I think this is going to depend a lot on where in the world you are.

  I’m from the mid Atlantic/northeast US, and was raised catholic, overall I wouldn’t say that around me there was ever a separate “Catholic dating culture” it was just catholics dating other people who may or may not have also been Catholic. Not any more problematic than the rest of the general dating pool in any particular way

  In other parts of the country or world I suspect that may be different

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• PlzGivHugs@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’ve never seen it described or practiced anything like that. If anything, I’ve seen it having almost the opposite reputation.

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• Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  No

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  • dullbananas@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Pomegranates

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• sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I don’t really know about it in general but I remember two Catholic friends I had who were dating, the girl joked/hinted to her bf about how they should hurry up and get married so they could have sex…

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  • dullbananas@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Smells like lust. And an even sadder kind of desperation.

    Did they plan on being open to kids?

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• Drbreen@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Are we talking about practicing Catholics or those that call themselves Catholic because they were baptised as a baby?

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  • ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Who has the authority to define what religion someone is but themselves? What sassy comment bro

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    • Drbreen@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Lol because I know many people from my family and extended family and people I’ve encountered in the past when asked if they belong to any religion they have said Catholic because they were baptised as a baby but don’t actively practice it.

      That’s why.

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• SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  High risk high reward I guess

  In theory you’re not supposed to have pre-marital sex (it happens all the time) and dating would tend to be more serious than casual. Going steady vs hooking up. So yeah I imagine having a relationship not work out carries more weight

  But once you get past that you get a long lasting marriage, a family and all the positives that come with that

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