I’m a mediocre ape at best.
Comment on how badly could a pelican fuck me up in a fight?
Jamablaya@lemmy.today 5 days ago
you’re a great ape somewhere between 150 and 300 lbs. It’s a 15 pound bird. I’m sorry but this is embarrassing.
capital@lemmy.world 5 days ago
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Bears will run from dogs knowing that the fight could leave them horribly maimed.
I’d run from the goose knowing that the fight would leave me horribly ashamed and embarrassed, and possibly maimed.
lath@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Unless they’re hungry.
Source: bear ate a dog near a cabin I was lodging at some years back. Hungry bears don’t give a fuck.
Geese in general also don’t give a fuck. Also, they don’t fight fair. Remember to protect your gonads.
FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Go try to eff with a goose if you think you’re so tough.
Jamablaya@lemmy.today 5 days ago
Imagine being so insulated you believe the cobra chicken bullshit.
tilefan@lemm.ee 5 days ago
oh look, Johnny No-Posts has an opinion on somebody’s question in the No Stupid Questions community. I don’t go to the Pinochet fan groups and tell you that you can’t make helicopter memes, learn some basic internet etiquette.
Jamablaya@lemmy.today 5 days ago
God forbid anyone ever sign up for a new to them content aggregation site.
tilefan@lemm.ee 5 days ago
I’m suggesting that you try communicating to a community before being an asshole in it.
I’m scared of needlessly hurting animals. I couldn’t have made that more plain. this isn’t reddit, you don’t just Wade in insulting people over things you have no understanding of.
Jamablaya@lemmy.today 5 days ago
Somebody doesn’t understand. It’s you, though.
TooPoor@lemmy.world 5 days ago
“Johnny No-Posts” lmao
nepenthes@lemmy.world 5 days ago
As a Canadian, have you ever met a Canada goose?
I feel you OP.
Also, telling someone they should be embarrassed is toxic. WTF is with all the shaming on Lemmy lately? Be better.
Jamablaya@lemmy.today 4 days ago
no, it’s literally embarrassing. But I’m from western canada, we worry about being attacked by bear not fucking chickens.
Jamablaya@lemmy.today 5 days ago
I’m also from the land of “Fuck Trudeau”. Canadians older than 12 scared of geese are even more embarrassing than this question.
tilefan@lemm.ee 5 days ago
well hold on, a Canada goose can get up to 14 lb easily, the brown pelican tops out at 6.9 lb, and doesn’t have a cobra neck so your only options aren’t attack the head & neck or do nothing.
like if there’s a group of kids around, I’d rather they go home with a story about how I got beaten up by a goose then the trauma of the memory of a pudgy middle-aged man smashing a goose’s head in front of them. I remember when I was like five and Animal Control had to come to my school and shoot a raccoon because they thought it had rabies, I got pretty emotional about that. heck, here I am talking about it more than 30 years later.
plus if anybody records it, no matter how much anybody acknowledges they don’t want to be bitten by a goose, I’m still going to be branded a heartless goose killer and probably doxxed. there’s a lot at play here
nepenthes@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’m not sure you meant to reply to me? I was just tryin to stick up for you against Johnny No-Posts.
I never advocated Bird Violence; I am Friend to Bird and had three bestie Steller’s Jays during the lockdown. They visited multiple times a day for nuts, and would wait for me on the patio.
tilefan@lemm.ee 5 days ago
oh, I wasn’t trying to be dickish about it, but I was pointing out that fighting a Canada goose is much different than fighting a pelican. a pelican, there seem to be multiple ways to hold it off without really hurting it, with a goose, the way they attack you can really only go for the head or neck which probably means you’re going to kill it.
I was very high at the time so the rest is pretty much rambling.