Comment on Anon tries to understand his coworker
JackbyDev@programming.dev 22 hours agoI don’t necessarily agree she was leading him on. It was a miscommunication. It’s an extremely common story if men misinterpreting women’s behavior as pursuit when it is often just friendly. Even then, platonic flirting is a thing. If anon really intended for this to be a date, why did he at no point ask if she was single? We can sit here all day and debate whether the girl’s “flirting” was appropriate or not and whether she should’ve said she had a boyfriend, but it goes both ways. What we do know is that, to anon, this was a date and that anon never asked if she was single at any point in the two weeks.
erev@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I don’t disagree with you that anon should’ve asked more questions, but platonic flirting is kinda wacky without a well established rapport beforehand. Otherwise it’s just flirting, and can be confusing.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 20 hours ago
It’s also confusing being asked somewhere and never being told it’s being treated as a date.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 19 hours ago
Why not ask? If a guy asks a girl (or vice versa) to go somewhere and it’s not abundantly clear it’s not a date (e.g. you’ve done similar things together before, they’re openly gay, or they explicitly said it’s not a date), then it should be assumed to be a date unless clarified otherwise. So if they don’t specify and you’re unsure, then ask.
That said, her leaving is also odd. A misunderstanding shouldn’t be a big deal. Show up the next day and laugh about it, and you’re golden. I wouldn’t be mad if that happened to me, nor should either anon or the girl. It’s just a misunderstanding, it’s really no big deal.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 11 hours ago
Why do you see a date as the default for men and women hanging out together?
erev@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
thats valid! both people here were kinda shitty to each other