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• harmsy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Seems like a skill issue to me.

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Dude, I don’t mean to boast, but honestly, I think my dick is just WAY too big. Like, I would DESTROY that grape instantly if I tried. It’s not just a trick of the camera angle, it just is that big. Honestly, I don’t even need to get out a measuring tape to tell you that even with a massive grape, it’s just not going to fit.

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    • Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’re not being creative enough. You could have a bowl/cup of grapes, and use that. Or maybe alternatively you could blend/mash them up, let them dry out a bit to stiffen up, then use that.

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      • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I find that when you sign up for lemmy, you very much underestimate the extent to which the community is going to be invested in you sticking your dick in grape.

        It’s not a complaint, really, and it feels supportive, in a way, but it’s definitely not what I was expecting. I mean, the whole area of soft fruit isn’t really a theme I was considering exploring in any kind of sexual way, if you can appreciate where I’m coming from.

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  • blackbrook@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    nothing worse than getting a grape seed stuck in your peehole…

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    • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Sounds painful. Like gallstones, but backwards. On the plus side, probably less scratchy. On the minus side, maybe more citric acid.

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      • blackbrook@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Nah, mainly tartaric acid…

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• AceSLS@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Not with that attitude

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I just can’t see it ever happening.

    I don’t mean any disrespect, and I don’t want to kink shame, but that kinda thing is just not my bag, baby.

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• Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  C’mon David. They want you to. Do it for them, buddy.

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The grapes? I can never tell when a grape wants some action. My whole life, I’ve missed every single signal. Well, that, or the grapes just don’t find me attractive, like, EVER.

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