Reasonable preferences stated in the form of red flags are still red flags.
Comment on Anon shares his dating preferences
kemsat@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Those not unreasonable preferences
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 3 months ago
JackRiddle@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
I think the phrasing is the problem. This comes off as overly negative. If you say something more along the lines of “I am not yet ready to have kids, so I’d rather not be with someone who has them. I like women who are in good shape, and I am looking for a long term relationship.” You come off as way less of an incel.
kemsat@lemmy.world 3 months ago
It is not an unknown that a lot of men have no interest in a single mother or raising someone else’s child. Saying that’s at incel level is a silly over exaggeration.
calcopiritus@lemmy.world 3 months ago
The tinder one is though. Someone being on tinder doesn’t tell you anything about that person. Only that they’re looking for either a partner or casual sex.
Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
You literally just said it tells you nothing and then listed something it tells you.
0ops@lemm.ee 3 months ago
Being on tinder doesn’t tell anything new given the context of the conversation. Any single girls that anon’s friend’s gf would consider referring to our apparently-single anon would be interested in one or both of those things whether they were on tinder or not, or they hopefully wouldn’t agree to a date.
Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
Well it sort of depends. Using dating apps for hookups is fine, but its awful for building relationships. The ghosting alone is pretty traumatic.
I would hope a potential dating partner would also be aware of this and have a similar view. They could just say they use it for hook ups exclusively though and it wouldnt bother me.
calcopiritus@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Presumably, if you’re looking for a partner, if the potential partner is looking for a partner it’s better.
Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
I would agree but tinder and most dating apps are not for relationships they are for sex.
Crashumbc@lemmy.world 3 months ago
This is fake but that said…
Meh, Tinder isn’t a dating app. It’s a hook up app. There are dating apps which are fine, but tinder is a hookup bar, you know the one, where the bar is empty by 12:30 am because everyone has found a friend for the night. Can you find a long term mate? Sure but odds are against you.
FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world 3 months ago
What are the dating apps?
Crashumbc@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Things like eHarmony, Match, etc. they generally have a lot more information about potential matches and there’s usually a back and forth over a period of time.
I know several people that met spouses on them.I used them with some success.
The friends that used Tinder the choice to swipe is 99% based on looks alone. And things usually move very fast.
Not saying you can’t meet long term interest on Tinder or can’t have a hook up on others. But they have pretty defined goal differences and the people that use them also.
Disclaimer: I’m a strong proponent of people being happy and doing right for them. I make no judgements.
prosp3kt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 months ago
Well actually…
HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Or the latter leading to the former