Comment on If Bethesda released Skyrim today, they would have made it woke

• MossyFeathers@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Dude, you gotta check out elder scrolls lore, it’s fucking wild. The world runs on clockwork, vivec gave molag bal sloppy toppy while his toppy was sloppy (he was headless), the lizards lick trees to become argonians which are wifi-enabled (the Hist trees can remotely control argonians, which meant shit got real and Mehrunes Dagon, a fucking daedra pissed himself in fear when he tried to invade the Black Marsh during the Oblivion Crisis), there are like, 72 1/2 forms of khajiit, it’s heavily suggested that the elder scrolls is a post-apocalyptic fantasy game…

  Also, every race in the elder scrolls has had a space program. The khajiit space program was literally just them standing on each other’s shoulders to reach space.

  Oh yeah. And the dragon breaks. When time and space just kinda fuck up and every possible outcome happens at the same time before settling onto a single thread (in-universe explanation for why there’s one canon ending to each game despite players being able to get other endings; each game takes place during a dragon break).

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  • Philharmonic3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Sloppy toppy while his toppy was sloppy is an inspired use of the English language. You deserve an honorary degree

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  • Default_Defect@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    The mental image I have of the Argonians all turnt on hist sap, invading Oblivion, making Daedra Lords piss themselves, and closing their own gates, makes me happy.

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    • MossyFeathers@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      That’s almost literally how it went down, except the Argonians weren’t tripping, the Hist trees are literally psychic and recalled all the Hist-born Argonians to the Black Marsh. They somehow knew the Oblivion Crisis was about to occur, and recalled every single Hist-born Argonian in Tamriel so that they’d be waiting at the gates the moment they appeared.

      The Hist trees are also speculated to be the oldest living beings on Tamriel, if not Nirn entirely.

      The Hist trees recognize Sithis as the OG creator. (If I understand correctly) To put it another way, while other races worship Aedra and/or Daedra, the Hist trees basically worship the void itself.

      The Hist-born Argonians are able to use a wholly unique form of magic called Hist-magic which operates under its own, separate rules. This scares the elves.

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  • MirthfulAlembic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Also, every race in the elder scrolls has had a space program. The khajiit space program was literally just them standing on each other’s shoulders to reach space.

    Are there any pictures of this? I can’t stop laughing at the image in my head. This is phenomenal world building.

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    • MossyFeathers@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Sadly, afaik, there are no official images of it. As Skua noted, it’s not exactly canon, but to my knowledge there isn’t actually anything that contradicts it. As such, I think most lore nerds take it as fact. Also because, as Skua said, it’s way more interesting for the Khajiit to have had a space program where they stood on each other’s shoulders than not.

      Also, Bethesda has severely neglected the Argonians and Khajiit, so people take whatever Argonian or Khajiit lore they can get. I think they’re “too furry” for Bethesda or something.

      Admittedly, a Black Marsh TES would be difficult to do without it being an Argonian-only spin-off because, iirc, Argonians violently eject anyone trying to enter the marsh.

      Meanwhile, a game set in Elsweyr would require a lot of effort due to all the different skeletons and character models they’d have to create. They’d probably double or triple the number of character models simply due to all the different forms of Khajiit (there are 17 forms, ranging from having the appearance of a basic house cat to being almost identical to Mer (elves) or Men (Redguard, imperial, etc)), with significantly more work if they tried to make them all playable with full armor sets.

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      • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        the marsh is also near impossible to live in unless you are argonian

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