The preferred alternative is a healthy relationship after enough therapy, the latter being a [pay]wall for some
xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
As someone who used to visit incel communities (though I never supported the misogynist views), I think a lot of the appeal comes from the fact that they seem to be the only support groups for lonely men. Why aren’t there any non-toxic ones?
abcdqfr@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
There are more straight men who want a partner than women, so someone will be inevitably left out no matter the amount of therapy.
hightrix@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Few exist, but they do exist.
The issue is that many times in the past when men have tried to creat men only groups, they get called sexist and forced to open the group.
Men aren’t allowed to discuss their issues (men’s rights discussion is seen as hate), they aren’t allowed to discuss that they aren’t allowed to discuss men’s issues ( this is seen as hate ). Because men are seen as privileged.
I fully expect hate for this comment and I won’t engage.
Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The biggest reason support groups for men aren’t well supported, is due to men enforcing the ideas of stoic machismo onto men. This leads to numerous things, one is a lack of support for men who are struggling, failing, lonely, whatever. Men aren’t allowed to discuss their feelings because men have created a society that looks at them as losers for doing so. This is, very slowly, changing though.
The problem with a lot of men’s right advocacy is that is really does end up being misogynist. Most men’s right spaces I have encountered want to blame women for being lonely, for failing to make a family, etc. Meanwhile it is men that have had the primary hand in create society, and it has been that way for thousands of years. We can’t really affect change if we don’t recognize that this is a bed that we made. If we are not happy lying in it, then we need to change, not women. I am also saying not saying women are just perfectly fine. Clearly everyone can have serious negative issues due to life. However, as it stands, the problems we believe are brought on by society, are the constructs of men.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
The problem is the men that are struggling generally aren’t the same men that made the bed.
Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Obviously, however that doesn’t make it not a problem with men. We still need a collective introspection, and course correction.
damnedfurry@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
(emphasis added)
The implication here, that societal norms are created and maintained by only men, and therefore any aspects of it that affect men negatively deserve to be blamed on them, is one of the most pervasive anti-male sentiments that people try to fly under the radar with. Women have at least as much (arguably more) influence on societal norms and conventions, as men do.
This entire comment is teeming with this undertone; that is, until the end, when they come out and just say ‘all the bad stuff is men’s fault’ at the end, lol.
Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I didn’t say only by men, I said men have had most of the control through out history, so they have, by far, the greatest influence
MellowYellow13@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
And women spaces are allowed to blame men but they dont get closed
Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yes, there are instances where men’s support groups have shut down, due to misogyny, and there are women’s support groups that did not, despite being misandrists. Guess who is the primary factor in the creation of this society in which this happens?