Comment on Anon has a nephew
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
forcing a 11 year old into leadership roles sounds like child abuse
Nah, it’s important for everyone to have experience taking the lead and the risk for doing so is much lower when you’re younger. It’s the best time to train that skill set.
Your apprehension to the concept is one of the reasons most leaders are selfish dicks, since those were the only people who wanted to practice being a leader growing up (cause they like the power of it)
Even with as many downvotes and with as much disagreement as you’re getting, I do believe there’s more merit to the what you’re saying than others are allowing for.
Not all “pushing them out of their comfort zone” is beneficial. A lot of child actors/performers have a great amount of trauma from being forced to perform as children, for instance. I struggle with such trauma myself.
And I’m not sure I can nutshell exactly the difference between abusive coercion and encouraging personal growth, but maybe some rules of thumb:
The wholesome flip side way of encouraging personal growth in social areas might be something more like playing chess with your kid when they start showing an interest, then suggesting they join a local chess club. Or maybe their thing is debate (debate club). Or writing software (LUGs and user groups for whatever language or whatever). Or art (lots of libraries and art museums put on things that might apply). Or music (local orchestras or whatever). Or drama (drama clubs, improv classes, etc).
The leadership part comes later. Maybe they take on some responsibility at whatever club. Maybe they get good enough at their craft to start teaching one-on-one lessons/tutoring. Maybe they get some of their works displayed in museums or contests and get some notoriety that way. Maybe they give talks at school in public speaking classes about their areas of expertise.
But let the kid engage in what they’re authentically interested in engaging in. Don’t be throwing some kid arbitrarily in a chess club if they couldn’t give a fuck. Especially if you’re weirdly invested in them being good at some particular thing. I think it happens more and can be more damaging than a lot of people realize.
Yes. There is a difference between encouraging people and forcing them to do stuff for ‘their own good’.
Exactly. This is some bullshit, pseudo-scientific authoritarianism dressed up as “wholesome”.
The societal emphasis on “leadership” is just bootlicking nonsense.
For any one curious, this is an example of spamming links that seem related to what you’re saying as a way to make your argument seem more rigorous. None of those links talk about what this poster is saying, just their URLs look like they might.
Nighed@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
…no, it’s pushing them out of their comfort zone.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
pushing someone off a cliff face is also pushing them out of their comfort zone.
ricecake@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Surely you’re trolling.
You do understand that there’s such a thing as “context”, and “teaching”?
“You’re in charge of game night” is quite different from “I am now going to murder you”.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How can I be trolling when a huge chunk of the userbase here doesn’t believe in the concept of personal responsibility?
UninterestingVoid@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
I mean it really depends on some a lot of factors. It should be fine if you engage and take a dynamic approach tho.
Nighed@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
Yeh, it comes down to what ‘forcing’ means in this context. I wish my parents had forced me out of my comfort zone more often as a child. (By making me go to more social activities etc)