my friends group was mostly girls in my 20s until I got into my last relationship. so I’m definitely not one of those guys. I’m also the son of a single mom special ed teacher and I had a sister (who unfortunately died of an overdose). women’s issues are ingrained in the fabric of my childhood. if I can get girls to talk to me I get a relationship or a friendship. I’ve never had anyone cast me out of their life so I know I’m someone people want to be around.

the no girls my age thing is real. I don’t want kids so that cuts out most girls my age that do show up. I live like 30min from a major metropolitan area but it’s in the south so it’s a lot of religious conservatives. we don’t mesh. the girls I see that would be a fit never respond. I know I’m attractive because I had a Myspace fanclub. that’s how I found out my ex was in to me. I’m no Henry Cavill but I don’t hurt to look at.

all the girls that were in my life are married or I lost contact. I’m not messaging a married woman out of the blue to review my dating profile. my family also has a problem with only being positive so there will be absolutely no constructive criticism from them no matter how hard they try. it’s like a disease in my family. the internet has also done a number on me. my ex-cheated on me with a married man who had a pregnant wife back in 2017, I found out in 2021. having someone do that then going on the internet and seeing all the hate towards men really did a number on my confidence. I’ve been nothing but a good person and now I’m viewed as a defacto danger unless someone vouches for me. my fears come from a real place. I’m not imagining all of this and that fear isn’t an “incel” thing. I guess technically I’m an incel. also therapy can only get you so far. I need the community around me to corroborate the positive things I’m being told and there is a disconnect.

I think I just need to start speed dating so that I can actually interact with people. I got jokes and personality. all the good pictures of me doing fun things have my ex in them because we were together for 15 years. so my dating profile pictures are selfies, pictures of me and my pets, and pictures of me being a cute kid. you would figure being a progressive empathetic person would get you at least one match but I guess not.

also I don’t just swipe right on everyone so this is also a preference thing. we both have to match to talk to each other so it’s a mutual thing. I probably have a bunch of girls on these apps attracted to me that I’m not attracted to. they are probably going through the same feelings I’m going through.

it’s definitely not a “women bad” situation and i refuse to lower my filter. I’m not dating a MAGAt just to be in a relationship and I’m not going to parent anyones kids.

I’m going to keep trying though and one day I’ll find my diamond. we will watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and shower each other with snuggs and hugs.