Comment on so many guys, so many optionsš³
MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com āØ11ā© āØhoursā© agoI know people who donāt pay and do ok on the apps. I donāt know if itās your area or your profile, but maybe try to get some feedback from women irl or online if you havenāt already. I know a lot of millennial women got off the apps a bit back, so that might also be a factor.
Iām terrified of becoming an internet post now if I approach someone.
For what itās worth, Iāve generally only seen this sentiment from people who donāt know how to behave around women. Maybe youāre an exception, but most normal guys I know donāt have an issue with that. They may be nervous to approach, but never out of fear of being lambasted online. If this is a real concern for you, Iād suggest reading some of these posts and just not behaving in the way they have an issue with.
Stinkywizzleteats@piefed.social āØ10ā© āØhoursā© ago
my friends group was mostly girls in my 20s until I got into my last relationship. so Iām definitely not one of those guys. Iām also the son of a single mom special ed teacher and I had a sister (who unfortunately died of an overdose). womenās issues are ingrained in the fabric of my childhood. if I can get girls to talk to me I get a relationship or a friendship. Iāve never had anyone cast me out of their life so I know Iām someone people want to be around.
the no girls my age thing is real. I donāt want kids so that cuts out most girls my age that do show up. I live like 30min from a major metropolitan area but itās in the south so itās a lot of religious conservatives. we donāt mesh. the girls I see that would be a fit never respond. I know Iām attractive because I had a Myspace fanclub. thatās how I found out my ex was in to me. Iām no Henry Cavill but I donāt hurt to look at.
all the girls that were in my life are married or I lost contact. Iām not messaging a married woman out of the blue to review my dating profile. my family also has a problem with only being positive so there will be absolutely no constructive criticism from them no matter how hard they try. itās like a disease in my family. the internet has also done a number on me. my ex-cheated on me with a married man who had a pregnant wife back in 2017, I found out in 2021. having someone do that then going on the internet and seeing all the hate towards men really did a number on my confidence. Iāve been nothing but a good person and now Iām viewed as a defacto danger unless someone vouches for me. my fears come from a real place. Iām not imagining all of this and that fear isnāt an āincelā thing. I guess technically Iām an incel. also therapy can only get you so far. I need the community around me to corroborate the positive things Iām being told and there is a disconnect.
I think I just need to start speed dating so that I can actually interact with people. I got jokes and personality. all the good pictures of me doing fun things have my ex in them because we were together for 15 years. so my dating profile pictures are selfies, pictures of me and my pets, and pictures of me being a cute kid. you would figure being a progressive empathetic person would get you at least one match but I guess not.
also I donāt just swipe right on everyone so this is also a preference thing. we both have to match to talk to each other so itās a mutual thing. I probably have a bunch of girls on these apps attracted to me that Iām not attracted to. they are probably going through the same feelings Iām going through.
itās definitely not a āwomen badā situation and i refuse to lower my filter. Iām not dating a MAGAt just to be in a relationship and Iām not going to parent anyones kids.
Iām going to keep trying though and one day Iāll find my diamond. we will watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and shower each other with snuggs and hugs.
plyth@feddit.org āØ8ā© āØhoursā© ago
I had the impulse to reply to
with a mocking
and it turns out that it is your problem. /s