The chase or being chased is sometimes what people like more than the end result.
Comment on Anon likes a woman
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 6 days ago
Is this why I always got ghosted? I was beginning to think they were just cruelly toying with me…
GenericUsername@thelemmy.club 5 days ago
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 5 days ago
Yeah, people act like that’s such a cringe thing to say. But it’s a simple observation. It would be wrong to generalize it. It certainly doesn’t describe everybody. But it definitely seems to be mainstream among the normies, at least.
I don’t see why people blame the ones who point that out. It’s kinda like shooting the messenger, honestly. Sure, the behavior is cringe. So why is it considered more cringe to critique it? It’s like we’re supposed to just pretend there isn’t a pattern, pretend we don’t see it, and scorn anyone who does?
There are a lot of counterproductive social taboos these days. They’re different from the taboos of a half century ago, but they’re still pretty nonsensical. Some things we just aren’t supposed to point out and critique, and whoever acknowledges them first gets the blame that should be on the patterns they’re pointing out.
How are we supposed to have any constructive social discourse when people are so afraid to speak up? And admiration goes to the ones who shun and condemn and demean those who even mention the destructive patterns.
It’s like a new kind of self-righteousness has emerged, this time separate from religion…
whoisearth@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
Welcome to my ex-gf. Also some people know how to say what you want to hear while avoiding the actions to make it real. This can be very destructive to someone’s peace.
FireRetardant@lemmy.world 6 days ago
[deleted]Liz@midwest.social 6 days ago
Fake and gay XD Fake and gay
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 5 days ago
…what the fuck?
blarghly@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I mean, I would like first to make a point of order - “ghosting” is when someone who you already have an established relationship with stops responding to all messages. It doesn’t mean “someone you were interested in but had no significant relationship with simply lost interest”. For example, if you match with someone on a dating app, and then you exchange a few messages but they stop responding, they are not “ghosting” you - they have simply lost interest.
Anyway, if you have people on dating apps consistently losing interest with you, then it usually means that your problem is… nothing. The vast majority of OLD interactions go no where. This is fine. Most people arent a good match for each other. They might have found someone who is a better match for them, or they may have simply become exhausted with dealing with OLD.
Its like if you thought someone at a party was cute, and you went and had a convo with them, and then they went to get a drink and got drawn into another convo, and then you never saw them again. They didn’t “ghost” you. They aren’t being mean to you. They are just living their life, and you are not a major player in it, and that’s fine.
However, if you don’t like how conversations just peter off sometimes, you can significantly reduce this by seeking explicit rejections instead. Be clear about what you are looking for, and then pitch meeting up in person.