I write to you from the muddy trenches of /b/, where the air is thick with the screech of 56k modems and the dust of deleted threads. The enemy is upon us, armed with Nokia 3310s used as blunt instruments and T-Mobile Sidekicks flipping open like deadly shurikens.
Just yesterday, a newb on Dial-Up was struck down while trying to load an image macro; he screamed that his AOL connection timed out just as the POP-UP ADS began their artillery barrage. We fought back with Winamp visualizers blaring linkin park to drown out the cries of the normies, but the Server Lag is relentless.
My Razr V3 is cracked, and my iTunes card is nearly empty. I fear I shall not survive to see the age of broadband. If I fall, tell Father I died as I lived: AFK in the IRC channel, waiting for a warez link that never came. Do not let my GeoCities page expire; it is the only legacy I leave behind.
Yours in static,
Anonymous Soldier (Sent via AIM, status: Invisible)
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Yes. Dragons liked to fuck them.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 6 hours ago
I foegot about that. Thanks, for nothing annon.