having a low tolerance for loss of control IMO is connected to a general anxiety, having made bad life experiences, having been hurt by others etc . this are not inherent character traits but develop in a rough and coldhearted environment.
Comment on most perverted men are actually very vanilla and run away when faced with a perverted woman
sharkweek@sopuli.xyz 4 days agoNot my experience, with the guys willing to hire a pro for general “kinky” stuff many didn’t want more than spanking and stern words … and that’s after they got over the psychological hurdles of actually talking to someone and confirming they had cash.
IME lots of boys like the idea, but have a low tolerance for loss of control, and no confidence that even if worked up gently they would actually enjoy being pushed.
gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 4 days ago
sharkweek@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
I think it’s also function of toxic masculinity - to trust your body to someone else goes against everything that’s taught about being macho.
To be blindfolded and tied is a very intense emotional experience, even before anything actually gets done … intense emotions are also considered bad by ‘tough guys’
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 days ago
If a woman told me I can’t go, and that she was simply going to use me, that would actually be the hottest thing ever.
Especially if she is rather strong, and shows that she is eager.
Idk where you find these people.
sharkweek@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
They found me, via advertising or word of mouth.
I’m long since retired from that line of work, though.
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 4 days ago
Aye to the tolerance, but I think that is a HEAVY trust issue more than anything else. They’re coming to someone they’ve basically never met before, and you think completely giving up control is going to be okay? That’s how folks get murdered (statistically rare, sure, but can you imagine a better scenario for killing someone?) in every bad fiction novel and ‘true crime’ talkyrecording.