I think I partially agree with aarkon. Somnophilia is just the fetish, and some people achieve it via cnc. But somno on its own isn’t consensual or not, it’s just the -philia, most people that talk about it just use it in the context of edgeplay and are sexually… Advanced.
So Aarkon is right to say it’s basically a rape joke, but they’re also wrong. But also it’s an interesting consideration, because a) its basically kink shaming, b) is technically a correct statement, c) edgeplay, while technically fine in the right circumstances, should be self aware that it’s EDGEplay and not for everyone, d) since somno is a thing that does occur to people not consensually, it really is an insensitive joke that can be triggering.
So, like I said directly to them saying it’s basically a rape joke: yes, but also no.
I don’t think anybody is going to win here, because there’s no right answer that makes others wrong.
Monument@piefed.world 1 day ago
I have a sexual parasomnia - while this hasn’t happened in at least 15 years, I used to initiate sex while asleep. I have no memory of it, but I have groped, kissed, sucked on the fingers of people, and sexually touched people sleeping next to me.
I’ve always woken up just before sex occurred, but I’ve accidentally had sex with people before - people who I was attracted to, but maybe didn’t want to bang - because we fell asleep together.
These days I’m not nearly in as many beds as I used to be (regardless of purpose) but I’m also an incredibly light sleeper now. The slightest movement and my conscious brain takes over. (Yay for newly(ish) developed hyper vigilance and anxiety.)
With that said, I don’t sleep next to anyone anymore unless we’ve had a conversation about what could happen, and are on the same page.