Finally, you can play your records in reverse to hear the sermon of the devil
Comment on Hail math!
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 days ago
As soon as she leaves:
“Ugh! FINALLY!!! I thought she would never leave…Ok, pass me the blood of the innocent.”
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 1 day ago
“Congratulations, you have found the secret message, please send your answer to ol’ Pink, care of, the funny farm.”
Jesus_666@lemmy.world 2 days ago
“Let me do a check to see if I give you the right blood… Nope, not with a 5. Here’s your blood orange juice.”
RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz 2 days ago
Satan: ”Ok, so you mispronounced beelzebub which would normally give you -2 on the summoning check. Howecer, you virgin blood counts as a superior sacrifice material so it all cancels out. Now, lemme get my dice…”
NannerBanner@literature.cafe 2 days ago
I saw a comic recently where the evil cultist tried to sacrifice his virgin friend to gain power/favor from a demon. Only, whoops! The friend had lied about being a virgin, and the cultist was one. Cultist learned just what the hard way is on that one.
Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I can work with this. I summoned a dank pneumonia one time I was doing a ritual with gasoline in the snow. I’ll just boof the blood orange juice and I guarantee whatever monster or dragon or giant cube of slime I’m fighting will be running for the hills after that!
ApertureUA@lemmy.today 2 days ago
username checks out