You have to disengage once you know they’re actually doing it. Same with any manipulative behavior. But if you’re really not sure, I’ve had luck pressing them on why what they’ve said doesn’t make logical sense. If they can’t support it, I can dismiss it and disengage.
Comment on Anon needs a good response
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks agoReal gaslighters LOVE the opportunity to further twist facts, or maybe its compulsion. Its better to either disengage entirely or focus on one or two key points their bullshit cannot change
ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
I spent enough of my life believing I was myself toxic that I just doubled-down. My mental-health suffered, but we’re at a point like a stand-off. I have an exit-plan and conditions that will trigger or prevent it, and I hope she does too, but with medication and therapy, I mostly feel like I’m where I want to be. Without it, my relationship would be irrelevant next to all the un-hinged shit I would get up to anyways.
I myself am not all that attached to the truth so much as I occassionally have to remind certain people that trying to convince anyone of utter-falsehoods and “non-disprovable” gibberish is boring, wasted effort, or worse. There is no upshot to abusing those who love you, at least not on a one-way street, and modern society has places if you really want to play the stupidest-possible games of bumper-cars.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Therapyspeak is a weaponized toolkit for typically BPD/sociopaths/narcissists to manipulate the situation into them always being right, and the only person whose thoughts and feelings and intentions matter.
It is extremely unforunate that this is the case… but it is the case.
Here’s a maybe relatable shit test:
Are you having conversations with a person that resemble diatribes/debates from SexPestiny or Thor/PirateSoftware?
Yep, that’s a sociopathic narcissists that put a bunch of skill points into therapyspeak/debate rhetoric.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
My ex-boss was like this. I felt so much better after he was gone, that is how I realized what a massive piece of shit he really was. My job and life were suddenly much easier, my mental health got much better, and I could think a bit clearer.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
We’ve unfortunately built a society, in the US at least, that literally rewards and promotes sociopathy with money.
These people lie and tell you we live in a meritocracy, which itself is gaslighting.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Ok, so a lot of us agree on these basic facts, that there is this things wrong with the world, and we need a community that is an anti-venom to it.
Also, hi! You are kind of my favorite Lemmy person for some reason.
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Welp, you’ve nailed why I find it so ironic/hillarious when I’m told, at length and in excessive/invented detail, that I haven’t internalized/accepted my own failures enough.
Mind you, it almost never involves (even meta-physical)injury or inconvenience to anyone else, so there’s a lot of lip-flapping from people who can explain everything they have a problem with except for how what’s being complained-about is any of their business or problem.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
My new life motto, upon hitting roughly 30:
Suffer no fools.
Be humble, but show no mercy to a hypocrite.
I’ve been abused by enough narcissists that yeah, I’ve got some rough edges to me, but frankly, I’m fine with that, a whole lot of people just fucking suck, and its a reasonably effective autorepellant for people who are too full of themselves to take a joke or criticism.
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Honestly, I’m the opposite. Fools are the only company I’m fit for, but “smart” fools if I can find them, if that makes sense. I try to avoid feeling like the “smart” one, although that avoidance hasn’t required any effort for me among my friends for literal decades by this point.