Comment

Comment on Discussion Thread 🎲 Thursday 19 March 2026

LowExperience2368@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

I can barely do anything for myself in the "adulting" realm and I want to change that.

I am going through the process of having to “reparent” myself. My mum is a helicopter parent. She thinks I am not capable of doing anything and tries to do it for me. Or she cooks food and I eat it. I am grateful that she does things for me, but I see people my age being entirely self-sufficient and I feel like shit. My boyfriend practically lives alone in his family home. He does everything for himself. In my house, everyone’s washing gets washed together. Even if the boyfriend does a load of washing, it is all his. If I ever have kids, I am teaching them chores as soon as they are ready. I would have really benefitted from a sense of mastery as a kid, especially with physical tasks that take me a lot longer than other people to get. Also self-compassionate talk and validating their emotions. Watch that go out the window in the heat of the moment.

source

Sort:hotnew top

tone212_@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I had a similar upbringing. Wog parents mentality is to do everything for their kids, even into adulthood; especially for sons. I really didn’t learn much day-to-day life skills living at home.

Moving out of home came with a sharp learning curve to care for myself, but i think I can say with confidence now that I am very self-sufficient. You will learn the skills you need when you need to, you are not “behind”, and honestly I miss my mum doing stuff for me because now I spend a lot of my non-work time doing chores. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, gardening and more, It’s a lot for one person.

source
StudChud@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I could have benefitted from the same tbh. Mum was also a very paranoid helicopter, so hitting adulthood was very hard - all the chores I never got taught, those little grandma/ma tricks and tips for cleaning, nada.

It’s hard in adulthood having to re-parent yourself and find these resources, but I believe in you! It can be done. And honestly I reckon you’ll find it easier to learn when you’re not living with mum. Some mum’s like the control over the household (for a variety of personal and patriarchal reasons), so sometimes it takes leaving to give yourself space to learn. You got this girl!

source
Catfish@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Oh dear. I wasn’t in quite the same boat, could cook, clean, and power tool when I left at 17. Money and adulting paperwork on the other hand was a shit show and I made some profoundly stupid decisions. Still do really, must learn about Super properly soon!!

source
- LowExperience2368@aussie.zone ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  You’ve got this!
  
  source
- melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Nobody taught me to power tool :(
  
  source
  - Catfish@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    I spent most weekends in primary school ‘helping’ build a house, stuff rubs off. You can improvise a hammer, but don’t move out without a shifting spanner.
    
    source
    melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    I have a toolbox but despite male family having those skills I taught all that to myself :(
    
    source
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
It’s really good you want to do this! Atleast your generation has the internet and YouTube to help you.

source
Seagoon_@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
You are doing great

chores are the easy thing

it’s all the rest that is hard, I’ve had to parent myself in nearly every other way 😔

source
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I love that you recognise this and want to upskill yourself, so to speak. My mum wasn’t a helicopter parent, but I still wasn’t taught basic skills. Moved out at 18 having no idea how to cook or clean or have any financial responsibility. Took me a few years to get the hang of it, tbh.

source
melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
That is the worst… I got a mix of that, some things I had to help with growing up but the vast majority of adult skills I had to teach myself. I’m still learning them and a lot are incomplete.

There’s Mom How Do I and Dad How Do I

m.youtube.com/channel/UCVo2ns_7YaVzFYVX5JgV_uQ

m.youtube.com/channel/UCNepEAWZH0TBu7dkxIbluDw

I will also answer any particular questions if I can.

Ps. Seriously consider accessing somewhere that does financial counselling, because I got none of that and had to learn about money management from influencers, avoided debt so hard I never built up a good credit score, and never got taught how to manage a super. Also definitely get help learning how to do taxes.

source
- LowExperience2368@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Thank you Melba!!! You should get paid to give practical tips to people. I’m sure people are doing just that.
  
  Because I work casually, how much I get paid each week varies but I tend to put some away automatically into a HISA.
  
  source
  - melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    I dunno. There’s definitely stuff I had to teach myself and is highly iffy
    
    And stuff I didn’t cover for reasons
    
    source