Comment on PB&J

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

• puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  what exactly does peanut butter jelly sex entail? asking for a friend

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  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    One person gets a good deal of their nude body covered in peanut butter.

    The other gets jam.

    You can start in little dollops on specific areas, neckline, tip of an ear, maybe tip of the nose if you’re feeling kinda funny… other areas… and then uh… clean them up… as if it was edible…

    … or you can just get right down to being bread and making the sandwich.

    Just make sure to keep the actual uh … lock and key, make sure they are well good and clean before you try to unlock any doors.

    Don’t wanna end up with a yeast infection or any other kind of infection.

    Its basically impossible to totally keep all your hair 100% clean, (unless you both use hair nets i guess maybe?), hence the thorough and rigorous and lengthy shower afterward.

    Do let me know if this piques your friend’s … appetite.

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    • toynbee@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Does this not inevitably result in a yeast infection for … Someone?

      Also, never met anyone else who could drop the name “Ratatat.” Badass.

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      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I did try and explain how to avoid potential infections in an edit… before any insertions, make sure the involved areas, and a certain radius around them are thoroughly cleaned off of any uh, food product.

        Like, clean up the whole area around people’s thighs and groin before you go ‘in’ to anything, for the gal, probably just don’t ever get any food product too directly close to where it could end up inside anywhere that has its own kind of sensitive self-regulating environment.

        Sort of like with ‘never go ass to mouth’… either eat the gal out before food stuffs get into your mouths, or, have the other party just actually brush their teeth.

        We had a number of disposable and non disposable towels and such on hand, beyond uh, orally prepping each other. Along with the pre prep of shower curtains, we put all our clothes into an unused garbage bag before we started… we realized that we’d only be able to lie or stand on or press against things or surfaces that we’d pre setup a shower curtain over, otherwise we’d leave a vaguely human shaped pb&j blotch on it…

        …we did a significant amount of preplanning to account for just how generally messy this likely would be.

        Then, the thorough shower afterward really is needed to get stuff off of the rest of your bodies, totally out of each other’s hair and such. You… kind of actually do need both people present to help the other get their hair as clean as possible, as gently as possible. If somebody has longer hair, probably tie it into a bun or ponytail or something, do your best not to intentionally palm or grab it.

        Now, I cannot with any confidence speak to how well this kind of procedure would like… generally work with other people following it, repeating 10s or 100s of instances of it.

        YMMV, there way be factors I am not remembering or considering that could be relevant.

        Like obviously we both did not have any STDs, had been fairly recently screened, weren’t fucking anybody else in the interim.

        Also, though I don’t think either of us knew it at the time… pretty sure we’re both autistic, hence the… mutual attention to details and contingency planning.

        But anyway, I can say that the one time that we did this, nobody had any kind of infection afterward, yeast or otherwise.

        ---

        As to Ratatat?

        Perks of being a hipster, I guess, lol?

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      • BanMe@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Hey some of us listen to Ratatat fairly often, wondering why the hell they had to stop making good music

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    • IratePirate@feddit.org ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And… probably avoid or significantly alter the concept if anybody is allergic to nuts.

      Ain’t nobody allergic to DEEZ NUTS!

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    • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Also, pick a soundtrack, or two, before hand, especially if you have close neighbors.

      It’s peanut butter jelly time!

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  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    pretty obvious. one peanut butter, one jelly, sex.

    might want an epipen just in case.

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