Comment on [deleted]

Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• gray@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Most people want this, but some people (usually men) really don’t handle rejection well

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  • Zexks@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No not “most people” many will claim so and immediately start playing games

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• usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  There’s safety in being indirect (you can retreat into the ambiguity), and there’s the “handshake” aspect of it too where it can prove they understand you on a deeper level than what’s explicitly on the surface.

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• polotype@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Well it’s a heluva lot more awkward once they know you thiught you could get with’em now isn’t it ?

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  • Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t find it awkward at all. If someone’s not into me, they are not into me. I’ll respect their wishes, keep any further conversation with them brief and at acquaintance level, and move on with my life. We all have preferences, and I’m not interested in being fixated on someone that turns me down. There are plenty of other people in the world. My life peaceful and I am ok with being alone and doing my own thing.

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  • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    And?

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    • polotype@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It means where you might once have been friends, because you wanted to know if they wanted to go further, you may now be estranged (?dont know thzt that’s the word) which is sad, because you probably both enjoyed each other’s company.

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      • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This is where clear communication comes in. Te ability to deal with difficult topics and emotions in a mature manner is part of that. It doesn’t NEED to remain awkward.

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• HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Why can’t clear and direct communication be a thing?

  Because for the most part people assume everyone is on their wavelength. Put it online and the problem compounds due to context being stripped away.

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  • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    In my experience men are much more clear when they like someone than women are. Men are less likely to make it a “game”. Men are more likely too push it even when rejected I won’t deny that, but women have done the same as well.

    My buddy recently got a new gf. He offered to go outside and start her car and clear the snow off of it. She no please don’t do that you aren’t even dressed yet. So he didn’t do it then she came home and expressed she was upset he didn’t try harder to do it anyway. They took that as a lesson and he pushes a little more on stuff like that but he also asked her to not say no directly like that and make it easier for him to insist.

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    • frostedtrailblazer@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      What a refreshing conclusion to the story, it’s nice to read about these positive outcomes where the couple grows from the experience.

      Open communication is one of the core things that makes relationships last imo.

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• VeganBtw@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I think we all wish for this, no? It’s just that a fraction of people are creeps and they will creep.

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