You can’t use the phrase “bad egg” without implying all eggs are bad, except the “good ones”
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elscallr@lemmy.world 7 months agoI feel like people are doing a disservice by using the phrase “toxic masculinity”
You can’t use that phrase without implying masculinity in general is a bad thing. Trying to draw a distinction between “masculinity” and “toxic masculinity” is using the same logic as the people that say “but you’re not one of the bad ones.” when they’re talking to someone of [insert race, gender, religion, etc].
They’re toxic people that cause these problems. There’s nothing wrong with masculinity.
Sidhean@lemmy.world 7 months ago
orrk@lemmy.world 7 months ago
well you know what they say a bad apple spoils the batch
Sanyanov@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Race, gender, etc. are: 1)Immutable 2)Not harmful, they just are
Toxic masculinity is behavior, it: 1)Causes measurable harm 2)Can be changed
It’s not okay to out those things into the same bin. While I appreciate and somewhat applaud your effort to stand up for masculinity that many say is in crisis. But this can be approached in a plethora of ways besides promoting objectively harmful behaviors.
I_dont_believe_it@lemmynsfw.com 7 months ago
And yet we never hear about toxic femininity, it sure feels pretty biased, especially when in this case it’s literally a woman that’s making a guys life miserable… And yet toxic masculinity 🤷♂️
Sanyanov@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Toxic feminity would be rather shaming other women for not being feminine enough, or something along these lines. Restricting even healthy aggression in women, forcing certain visual styles etc.
But what you’re seemingly talking about - women propagating toxic masculinity again - is very real, and something we should talk about (and I do here and there). After all, it’s in the interest of everyone. Men can finally take a breather and be themselves, freed up from harmful expectations, and women will have to deal with much less dangerous aggression from men, alcoholic husbands etc.
We just generally need to build a more compassionate society. And that absolutely entails being compassionate to men.
Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
There’s ABSOLUTELY toxic femininity. The idea that you have to be airbrush perfection. That real women don’t pay on their dates. That yu should play games and be unavailable because no one likes a whore. That’s all toxic femininity. Why doesn’t it get much air compared to toxic masculinity? Probably because we’re coming off a MASSIVE patriarchy and toxic masculinity is fucking SWAMPED in our culture, but both absolutely exist.
Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
I get what you’re saying but you’re wrong. Toxic masculinity is a societal expectations thing. It’s the background noise that’s ever-present in society saying “masculinity is anger.” “Masculinity is never crying.” “Masculinity is shoving those emotions deep down in the man place, where they’ll never be seen again.”
Healthy masculinity is ideas such as taking care of your shit. Owning responsibility for the things you can effect. Shit like that. When someone says someone has issues because of toxic masculinity, they’re not saying that masculinity itself is bad. Of course it isn’t. The thing that’s bad is our, society’s, views on what masculinity is. That’s the toxic masculinity.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
Yeah bruh, I totally hate toxic people and I’m trying to cut them out of my life. That of course means exactly the same that as saying I hate all people.
pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Toxic Masculinity is taking masculinity to the extreme, acting like the only masculine traits are those that are cold and lack emotion. It’s possible to be masculine but to also have emotions.
MasterNerd@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Mfer doesn’t understand how adjectives work
Fosheze@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I don’t know what an adjective is but it doesn’t sound manly so I won’t do it.
KepBen@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Big Ben Shapiro vibes