Comment on geological contingency plan
janus2@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
how to assassinate a…
chemist: just keep challenging them to make more and more unstable and/or toxic compounds. if they’ve made it past FOOF gas, up the ante by saying “ok now do a 1-pot synth”
microbiologist: accidentally a little pathogenic virulence factors into their E. coli supply and poke some holes in the laminar hood HEPA. (don’t do this if you share a bathroom with them)
particle physicist: take a couple screws out of one of the hundreds of ladders around the facility
theoretical physicist: remove a manhole cover in one of their usual walking paths, Looney Tunes style
biochemist: sabotage all their grant proposals and they’ll take care of their own assassination
computer scientist: fucking don’t they’re an endangered species now
entomologist: literally indestructible don’t even bother trying. these motherfuckers raise botfly larvae in their own limbs for shits and giggles. i fear no man. but entomologists… they scare me
mathematician: use a gun
Marine Biologist: You can’t kill a 13 year old girl, no one actually becomes a marine biologist, they just all want to.
Sociologist: Trick them into going to a psychology convention, the crowd will do the work for you.
Psychologist: See above, reverse it. Might be harder to trick, tell them someone in there said they’re just an anthropologist who’s bad at math.
Anthropologist: Take away their teaching license, can no longer feed themselves because no one else is hiring them.
the Galois reference is the best
For anyone wondering, Galois was a mathematician who postulated that you could simplify any problem with a gun
yes that was definitely intentional and absolutely not just an anti-joke i used when i ran out of ideas. excellent catch 😎👉👉
:)
The_v@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Molecular biologist: repeatedly spike their samples and reagents to cause random failures. Eventually lack of sleep from running it “just one more time” will kill them.