If you’re making vows at a wedding ceremony that you feel you can just nope out on if shit hits the fan, why are you getting married? What is the point?
I agree. The wedding shouldn’t change how you feel about the other person because you should already be 100% dedicated if you’re thinking of getting married
And get married at 23, plan life of kids and whatever. Car accident a year later and she/he is a quadruped. What you’re describing isnt love, or devetion, it’s indentured servitude. If you truly love the other peraon you’d want them to leave.
But it’s why I never plan on being married who the fucks knows what will happen tomorrow, let alone a decade down the road.
Im 59, my parter (f 56) and I have had that discussion, she insists she’ll stay and take care of me if it happened and I said that will make me even more miserable and more depressed and I’d want her to leave.
I cant even wrap my head around how selfish.amd self absorned you’d have to be to insists someone take care of you for decades of you were bedridden or even house bound etc
Bo7a@lemmy.ca 13 hours ago
A lot of people in the current culture we live in do not place any value on their word or honor. I don’t really blame people for this since the system we live in rewards exactly the opposite behavior.
But it does make it very hard to communicate with people when you don’t have the same vocabulary.
It seems like you and I believe a vow is something that you make and would hold yourself to regardless of circumstance. But the nature of our capitalistic society teaches us from very young age that if it will improve your standing, your finances, or your situation in some way, then it is okay to break your personal code.
With that rambling paragraph in mind, it’s not surprising when we find out that most folks don’t have a personal code and vows mean nothing more than a pinky swear.
LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 13 hours ago
Plenty of people before 2025 divorced for any number of reasons.
Plenty of people straight up murdered their spouse because divorce wasn’t an option.
Saying “people in the current culture we live in do not place any value on their word or honor” means you have no idea how people in the past lived.
People are today as they have always been, just with different gadgets and environment.
Bo7a@lemmy.ca 13 hours ago
I didn’t say anything about a divorce or murder. Maybe I was bad at getting my point across.
The point I’m attempting to make is that putting value on your word, and by association giving extra value to a vow over another type of promise, is a lesser respected or necessary part of being a human in the late stage capitalist society that we live in.
This can be evidenced by people saying that a vow can easily be broken if the circumstances change.
That is not what a vow means.
LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 12 hours ago
My point is that it hasn’t changed. People have always been people.
AstralPath@lemmy.ca 12 hours ago
We’re 100% on the same page.