Comment on Discussion Thread 😎 Sunday 14 September 2025

Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

• LowExperience2368@aussie.zone ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s hard to meet people in a big city.

  Amongst the chaos of Melbourne, I’m glad you’ve come here, and I hope you remember that this is a safe place for you :)

  I agree with you

  I want to go out too, but with people I genuinely feel connected to. My closest friend at the moment is in Sydney. Even though much of her life is there, she still makes me feel like a priority in her life. I have another close friend who I talk to often, but only see her about once every two months as she lives far. The rest of my “friends” are always too busy, disrespect my time in some way, or are only interested in talking to me when they’re wanting to go out and have no one to go with. Most of these people have established friend groups that they’d rather hang out with. Of course, as there is a common theme here, I do think that I am the problem in a lot of these instances. I have enabled their shitty behaviour by hanging out with them. However, I’m still hopeful that ‘my people’ are out there. I have heard of Aussies going overseas and connecting with other Aussies there. I am considering moving overseas at some point or even just getting flatmates. So for now, I will be doing stuff alone but also going to events to meet new people. I downloaded meetup the other day and am going to a few events from there. Not expecting to make friends from it, but at least I won’t be a hermit.

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  • Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’m sorry you’re also having these kinds of difficulties. I have people like you describe, generally only contact me when they want me to do something for them or go out because they don’t want to go out alone.

    I wasted a lot of time convincing myself that those people were friends. In the end I’d rather have no one than friends like that.

    I definitely feel like a hermit. Mostly because of where I live and that med that I was taking.

    I figure I’ve been given a 2nd chance. And I’m going to take it and run with it as far and as hard as I can. I don’t mind that things are difficult or are going to take time to fix, but in the moment, it can hurt like hell to see the reality of your situation.

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• melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Despite seeming superficially friendly Melbourne can definitely be cliquey.

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  • Seagoon_@aussie.zone ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It can be very classist here

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    • SaneMartigan@aussie.zone ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “What school did you go to?”

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      • LowExperience2368@aussie.zone ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        🤮

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• Seagoon_@aussie.zone ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  so many hugs

  I have found living in big cities to be more like living in close neighbourhoods, it takes so long to travel people tend to stay local

  so stay local if you can, close to public transport or walking distance

  or have weekly meet ups at a specific place , it has to be regular

  suburbs it’s much harder as people are car centric , try finding a place where people do activities,

  I have a sports club close by, I might go there and join trivia nite, and even tho I’ll be “the only guy in a tie” I know I’ll fit in , just have a beer/wine and be friendly

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• SituationCake@aussie.zone ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Part of it could be getting older. I’ve found that people drop off gradually after school/uni, following different paths, moving away, having kids etc. Then making friends is much harder as we get older. Everyone is busy and often have no time or want for new friends. It takes repeated meeting and socialising with same people to make new friends. Outside of sports groups, religious institutions, or parents groups there’s not much opportunity. The older I get the lonelier I get. It’s hard.

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  • Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I think you’re right.

    Im going to keep trying because I’m incredibly stubborn and I figure I just got a new lease on life so where’s the harm in putting a lot of energy into social activities.

    I can’t accept that this is how it’s going to be. Fuck that.

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