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gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

and who’s gonna fight for the people? I’m not gonna fight for a society where women think of me as an asshole/predator/whatever simply because i’m a man. if we ever get a civil war, women can defend themselves, no kidding, because i’m not gonna fight and possibly die for somebody who doesn’t see me as part of their community.

the social media story that men are all assholes was a scheme to divide the population (women vs. men), to sow distrust and prevent cohesion. and it worked like a charm, because the people are goddamn idiots.

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porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Well, idk about all men, but you certainly sound like an asshole

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LouNeko@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I don’t think it was a scheme, just natural emergence from access to instant and global communication. There wasn’t a single point in time where people have been at tune with each other. There was always division into competing hierarchies, groups and social circles. Now it’s just happening on a global scale.

Also, if women and men are so divided, then how come there are still couples and marriages and children? Don’t base your entire global world view on your own very limited personal experiences.

And let’s not pretend people fight for somebody else. In reality the reasons for fighting aren’t that noble. You either get radicalized, have nothing better to do or nothing else to lose.

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fading_person@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Social media by itself can’t divide people. People become divided when they start thinking and acting like you’re doing at this moment.

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piccolo@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

to sow distrust and prevent cohesion. and it worked like a charm, because the people are goddamn idiots.

Well it worked on you, so thats something.

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SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It’s likely if you’re a man who behaves a certain way. I am an older man who has had to assist quite a few women after various degrees of sexist assault. I have also worked closely with men who were victims of violence by women, but I am generally in agreement with people about the misogyny risk that is everpresent for women. Most guys have little idea how deep it runs.

And then we get this kind of whinging. Dude, fucking wake up.

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- gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I agree that assault and violence are grave problems, but that’s not what i’m talking about.
  
  People are scared of each other and divided (which, if you think about it, is really the same thing) because they don’t try to understand each other’s situation. In other words, it’s empathy that’s lacking and that’s the more important issue than looking at the issues of women in isolation.
  
  In other words, i would embrace if people tried to have more empathy in general (and this one isn’t targeted towards a specific group of people), instead of trying to make it a “women vs men” thing. If you make it a “A vs B” thing, you end up with division, which is arguably the opposite of what you want to achieve, which is a harmonious society.
  
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  - SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Yes, people under stress, or more accurately the duress of a chronic, barely relenting, and ubiquitous threat, are going to be reacting defensively in a reflexive manner, and that sometimes, especially for people who aren’t emotionally intelligent, means that they are going to stereotype.
    
    Frankly, it is important to remember that there is a lot of cognitive load, trying to figure out who is a threat and who is not.
    
    So, please have compassion in this situation, and recognize that many of the people you see as stereotyping or painting “men” with a broad brush are dealing with a kind of PTSD. Once you keep that in mind, it’s a lot easier to have a thick skin, and with compassion can even help them see things more clearly without being oppositional.
    
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princesspurple@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Sir, this is a Wendy’s

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octopus_ink@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I’m gonna say this one time, and you will probably ignore it and continue on as you were.

But maybe, you will reflect upon some part of it later.

I have been on a path that could have ended with an attitude like yours. The sad thing about it is when people tell you that you are creating you own perception that women at large think men are all assholes, or that women at large don’t think of you as part of their community, by how deeply (or not) you are reading into things that touch on those issues, and how willing you are to set aside your feelings of being attacked to try seeing what is being said.

As one example, the bear thing a year or so ago sure pissed a lot of people off and I am pretty sure I hear echoes of that event (or something very similar) in your comment.

Choose for a moment not to feel victimized by it, and instead look at it like this:

Perhaps, it’s a sad commentary on the lived experiences of many women in this country which we all believe to be so safe that so many of them have experienced such a pervasive threat of sexual assault that they regard unknown men as potential threats. We’ve been calling ourselves the greatest nation on earth for as long as the nation has existed, yet in 2025 a huge percentage of our wives and daughters are unable to feel safe if a strange man is behind them in a parking garage.

Yes, it annoys me for a second when I am minding my own business and I can see that a woman has changed her behavior to keep me in view or stay ahead of me as if I’m going to do something to her when I know well and good I am not. I have never done that a single time in reaction to someone just minding their own business. But then I realize, in 50+ years, I’ve had the luxury of never having felt that level of danger in my daily life.

So I figure, I hope someone else will help my wife or niece feel a little more comfortable in the same circumstance, and I try to make that annoying woman in front of me who wanted to have a little less fear feel a little safer if I can.

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