I’ve discovered that emotional availability means you’re available to mirror her emotions. If she’s mad, you better get mad. If she’s sad, you better get sad.
Comment on Anon thinks there is a bicurious double standard
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 4 days agoI’ve had two relationships with women immediately go downhill after I cried in front of them. It was like someone flipped a switch and turned off any physical attraction they had to me.
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 4 days ago
JasSmith@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Yes! We need a translator because what many of them say is not what they actually mean. I kept being told I was emotionally unavailable. So I started opening up more, which killed the attraction pretty quickly. What they meant was that they wanted me to listen to them and react in a way which implied I felt their feelings. Most women definitely DO NOT want a man who is in touch with his emotions or is “emotionally available.” They want to feel emotionally validated.
Electric_Druid@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Conversation about this can be helpful with the right person. I felt rather one sided in the emotional validation in my relationship. We had a long emotional talk about it and things are better now.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
Those women need to grow up.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
Can absolutely confirm this, myself. Never let them see you vulnerable, unless you want to drive them away.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
I’ll be honest, I can’t imagine not being able to cry in front of my partner. It sounds depressive.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
It’s how “toxic masculinity” is forced upon men against their will.
Do we want to be sensitive and vulnerable? Sure!
Do we want partners that can accept that sensitivity and vulnerability? Of course!!
But when the vast majority of women do not do as they say, or say as they do, the calculus becomes massively brutal and clear-cut: either cram that shit down to where it will never see the light of day, or see it emotionally/sexually alienate our partner or even drive them away.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
TBH I think “toxic masculinity” is a shitty term for the concept. It feels like calling forced female gender roles “toxic femininity”.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
It sounds depressing because it is.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
This is the way of things.
I’m not saying it’s right, just, or how it should be, but in my experience, yes, this.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
What makes it infinitely more worse is that almost all women fully and absolutely deny this happens, even when behaving exactly like this.
It’s why such near-ubiquitous behaviour - and women’s hypocritical denial of its existence - is widely documented within both redpill and blackpill writings, and is one of the core reasonings behind MGTOW.
Such overwhelmingly predictable behaviours are what make those philosophies so devastatingly effective and compelling even before a person gets to anything even mildly misogynistic… facts and evidence that survive tests of disproof speak volumes, after all. These philosophies simply wouldn’t exist if behaviours and double standards like this didn’t exist.