Comment on How does a guy become his most confident around women?

Contramuffin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

The best thing to do is to not see gender. Treat women the same way that you treat men. I mean that in the most literal sense, not in an “equal rights” sense (though you definitely should make sure that’s true as well).

Do you know the uncanny valley? It’s the idea that things that appear close-but-not-quite human are offputting. Something similar happens in social conversations as well. People are very good at subconsciously detecting subtle signs of incongruity between your tone, body language, and spoken words. For instance, if you are nervous but act blasé. There will be subtle signs, like in how you phrase sentences or your tone, that will be noticeable, and people will think that you are hiding something. And people may find it strange and offputting.

It’s the same reason why pick up artists appear creepy - people can detect that their intentions and worldview don’t match with their exterior façade.

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