It seems like being bi would be awesome if it werent for the jizz. Like, ew.
Comment on I am two of them
glorkon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I believe there’s a much broader spectrum as straight, gay, bi. I was never sure where I belong on this scala.
Like, I thought I was straight during my entire teens. Sometimes in the early 2000s, I discovered the joys of online porn, and then found that the guys in porn sometimes seemed more interesting to me than they should. But having sex with a guy? No way. I thought.
So I spent my life, a below average looking guy, starved for sex for a long time, except the occasional awkward and underwhelming experience with humans of the female persuasion. Smoking a lot of weed to fill the internal void. One day, met a fellow weed smoker online. Lived nearby, gamer. Knew where to get good weed. After a couple of weeks we met. He told me he was gay. I was like, alright, sure. We played NHL Hockey and smoked a lot of weed. He asked me if he could suck my dick. Stoned as fuck, I said yes. Best blowjob I’ve ever had. But then, I ghosted him. Why? No idea. Couldn’t face the fact that I might be bi? Not sure to this day.
In my late 30s, I got married. And turns out once we were married, my wife turned asexual. So now I’m stuck in a straight life with no joy and no sex, getting closer to 50 every day. Even had to quit smoking weed. Boy, do I regret ghosting that guy.
So to this day, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t turn down a gay guy if an opportunity arose, even though I lean more towards women. I’m just a guy leading a sad existence in the closet and this comment turned out to be a much gloomier confession than I intended it to be when I started typing. Sorry.
FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Do not apologize. That’s quite the story you have.
If you’re unhappy with where you are, who you are with, or who you are, you can always change. It’s never too late and trust me, as a long term supporter of the LGBTQ+ movement (despite being very straight/cis), they are a very accepting group.
As an outsider, I can’t tell you what, how, or when changes are going to work best for you, nor what changes you could, or should make. That’s entirely your decision and it’s a big one, and I’m sorry about that. I’m only saying that it’s not too late to figure out who you are and how to be comfortable with your life.
All the best. Take care of yourself.
squaresinger@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Seems like your sexuality is “sexual”. You just want to have any action, but socially you have the chance for none.
glorkon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As much as it pains me to admit you’re right, you appear to have hit the nail on the head.
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 5 hours ago
I’ve phrased it before as “I don’t know if I’m bi-curious or just horny”
squaresinger@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I hope you didn’t take that as being mean, that’s not what I wanted to be here.
If you spend 10+ years with an asexual partner, anything that could provide a chance of sex starts to look appealing.
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As someone who realized they were ace after marriage: im sorry. I can be a real challenge.
TeddE@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Sucks that our society is structured to make marriage such a large gamble. While the asexual wife thing sucks, I hope you two can connect on other levels for a rich and fulfilling relationship (since it’s not all about sex)
To your larger thesis - I agree. The labels we use - “straight”, “gay”, “bi” rarely match what people think of their own sexuality. Sometimes even when accurate we can chafe at such harsh categories. It’s just more complex and nuanced then that. But society just loves it’s labels.
What would you think of the term heteroflexible? It carries the idea that as a prince, you might have a harem exclusively of women, yet as a pauper ‘any port in a storm’ as the expression goes. Or it could mean that you prefer women, but a good blowjob is a good blowjob - regardless of the sex of the lips giving it.