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Right on the head, I’ve had a woman try to tell me to be rougher and take what I want.

Sure, right after you sign a fucking waiver - I’m not about to ‘take what I want’ and have you turn around and claim I forced you into something.

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daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
The waiver isn’t legally binding. Wouldn’t waste your time.

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rainrain@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Do all women secretly want to be raped?

Seriously. It might be a genetic primate thing. Built in.

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- Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  #NotAllWomen but the ones who do like it rough often have fantasies that involve losing power and agency over what their partner does. Hence roleplaying rape and “do what you want to me”. However, sometimes they do have a script in their head and don’t like it when the partner deviates from that script because they just want to play at losing control, not actually lose it.
  
  Then, if they haven’t agreed on a safe word beforehand, which they haven’t because we’re talking about people who don’t communicate properly, it turns into a confrontation.
  
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- Lesrid@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  No.
  
  I remember a fellow thespian explaining it as a perverse take on being desired. It was hot for her that she seemingly turned [her partner] on so much that he did anything he could to access her. She then went on to say that if it was a stranger, and if she could tell they did it because of her allure, she believes she could forgive them. I quit that troupe soon after for unrelated reasons.
  
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  - Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Sounds like she was a narcissist, personally.
    
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    Lesrid@lemm.ee ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Definitely abusive. Often narcissism and abusive behavior go hand in hand
    
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- RBWells@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I should probably break out the alt account but whatever. No of course not all but probably more of us like it rough than guys do, judging by the comments. One of the best things about getting older, sex-wise, is old guys have stamina and find it harder to get off so can do harder for longer so that I too can get off. I think it’s fair to say that because the stimulation from PIV is indirect (compared to direct clitoral stimulation) in my experience it can work better to be more physically forceful with it.
  
  “Do what you want with me/have your way with me” is not a sexy thing to say though. It sounds like a bad romance novel thing. “What do you want/need?” or “harder please, slower please” you can say what you need without feeling too bossy, if feeling bossy is a turnoff.
  
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