I’ll be real you just might not be cut out for monogamy and thats okay. Talk to them about how you are feeling.
Comment on Anon self-improves
KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Fuck, I was kinda doing alright, making friends, getting out, part of a big kink/group sex community, then I met my current GF, I haven’t been to a sex party in months, I feel miserable 50% of the time, honestly most difficult person I’ve ever been with because of the way she sees life and relationships, wondering if I should break up with her.
Only thing is I think I’m fooling myself Re how miserable I was
sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I think it’s the opposite, she’s a relationship anarchist and I can’t cope with this kind of relationship and how seemingly little importance I have in her life sometimes. I could do poly with a primary partner, but not RA.
Classy@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
relationship anarchist
Man, people these days will do absolutely anything that can to shrug off any commitment or intimacy with their partner. I wouldn’t even try to date a RA, that sounds miserable, dude.
valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I mean you can be heavily invested in a relationship as a relationship anarchist.
The anarchy part is that you do not take for granted how a relationship should be structured and that you are open to have very unique and consensually agreed upon aspects in your relationship.
If you want commitment and reliability and loyalty you can for sure ask for it and name it as something that is essential for your relationship and if they do not give it to you it might just be best to split ways.
Of course I understand that there will be people who weaponise relationship anarchy to just do whatever the fuck they want to and rationalise/justify their behaviour but I think the concept isn’t condemnable per sé. There are also people who weaponise therapy speak to gaslight and I wouldn’t want to generally talk bad about therapy.
Just wanted to give a counterpoint because I think engaging with relationship anarchy and for example looking at a smorgasbord can even help monogamous people to figure out what is important to them and what they want.
KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Yeah, it’s pretty weird and fucked up IMO.
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
You should definitely break up with her, you’re not on an emotional maturity level to be in any serious relationship. She should be set free to find someone grown.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
My only piece of relationship advice is to avoid online relationship advice. Particularly from a greentext community.
KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Lol, see, there is good advice on a greentext community.
dicksteele@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
We can call it the greentext paradox.
Life advice should not come from greentext communities, but that statement is good advice.