Comment on Anon envies the boomers

• RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Arranged marriages have better results than love based ones in many cultures. It turns out having all your family who have had kids and been married have a clearer understanding of the couples compatibility than those in love.

  Love will make you overlook the thing that your auntie would zero in on as a long term problem.

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  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I can see the logic. The realities of day to day life and managing a household together are a considerably larger presence than most people realize until they’re shoulder deep into adult life.

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    • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      My cousin was miserable after his first year in marriage. Our grandmother, who was lovely but not perceptive, told him not to marry her after meeting her the first time because she was dismissive of his perspective. My cousin didn’t think this was an issue until the honeymoon period wore off and then realized his new wife never thought he knew anything.

      They lasted 6 years.

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  • sortaPasswordName@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    For context, see research by Myers, D., 1993 (which I can’t find a link to at the moment) about differences in satisfaction in couples in India in arranged marriages and couples in Amerikkka in marriages of choice, and compare it with the later research Myers, 2005.

    More specifically to your statement about auntie zeroing in on something, see MacDonald & Ross, 1999.

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• Rakonat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Odds are if a church was involved, one or both are gaslighted into believing they are meant to be married that other person for better or worse, and regressive enough subculture/community that finds divorce abhorrent for any reason (other than the man could have a younger bride)

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  • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    OR they come from a culture that does arranged marriages and you are being anti-theist and unintentionally culturally insensitive.

    You are aware that arranged marriage is a thing still, right?

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    • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Most countries where arranged marriages are still a thing so have that backwards religions view on divorce though.

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      • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        When you actually sit down and talk to people in these marriages they tend to be content.

        Your suggestion that another culture or religion is “backwards” is a very awkward claim to make as those rarely come from a good place.

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• Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  To shreds you say

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  • Whorehoarder@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    What about the ones that work out?

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    • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Shredded you say

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• JoShmoe@ani.social ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I didn’t bother going into details. It wasn’t an arranged marriage, the two were only arranged to meet. They chose to pursue a relationship entirely on their own.

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