Comment on Are mood problems a “turn off” for people even when they’re hard to manage?
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
While I do tend to praise men and ignore women, as some people say, it’s tough love since I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]
Holy internalized misogyny, Batman!
This is truly wild and the exact opposite of what women actually need.
Who gets to define the best version of themselves? They don’t get input on that? Only you? Only men?
Coupled with your previous post on narcissism where you said this:
I call my friends useless and horrible, and I really have no guilt/remorse or sympathy about that. I feel like I can treat them however I want without much remorse. In fact, I feel like most of the time, I’m right to treat people this way.
It’s not tough love. This is abusive language and behavior.
I understand getting frustrated with people if they’ve failed to make positive changes for themselves for a long time… but unless you’re their partner who lives with them, most of it doesn’t and shouldn’t have a direct impact on your life. Meaning it’s up to them to make choices for how they live and what they feel is comfortable. It’s up to you to be their friend and respect their choices being different than yours. If you can’t do that, you’re not actually their friend. You’re just a rude domineering person who thinks they know best for everyone else (Pro tip: you don’t, actually)
“Tough love” almost never results in people suddenly respecting your opinion. No, if anything it makes them resent your opinion.
Even if it is a partner you live with. Guess what? It’s healthier to just dump them and move on if you’re so disappointed with them than trying to bully them into the person you want them to be.
Look, I’ve had anger problems myself. The worst habit I picked up from my shitty parents was resorting to hurtful and abusive language when I’ve been pushed pushed pushed into anger. Even if the things I am saying have root in valid critiques of the people and the situation the abusive language does not help anything, ever, at all! I know this from experience. What you probably need is some therapy to help you find more healthy ways to express yourself and more healthy ways to help yourself disconnect from these situations as they do not impact you personally most of the time. (I can see a perpetually late friend impacting you, but that’s small potatoes, get over it or stop being their friend: problem solved.)
All you’re doing is making people hate you.
AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml 5 days ago
From what I’ve read, she seems to think everyone will always be worse than her no matter how hard they try. They’ll never be good enough for her, so she’ll always find someone to be disappointed in and something to be disappointed in everyone for.
sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
This person’s few posts are so insanely stereotypically the kinds of things a perfect, dark triad (narcissist, psycopath, machiavellian/manipulative) person would say, that 30 seconds into typing my other reply I did a ‘wait, is this a troll?’ double take.
CatDemons4@lemmings.world 5 days ago
I don’t know if I’m any of these, to be honest. I just have low empathy and high standards.
sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
From your other reply, it seems to me that you’re likely a sociopath, which basically means you are by default a narcissist, as you only see the world in how it relates to you, as opposed to how others relate to you, and others to others.
You genuinely seem to have no ability to reflexively empathize with others, neither in a real time interaction, nor afterward.
You are your only emotional frame of reference, which means all of socializing basically is just a game you play to achieve some goal or goals… which is the same thing as saying, you do not comprehend how socializing could be anything other than a game of manipulating people, which other people are just worse at than you.
Apparently with the DSM V, sociopathy and psychopathy have basically been redefined, together, into ASPD.
So… yeah.
Please see a therapist.
AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml 5 days ago
Image Image Image
AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml 5 days ago
Also, this is unrelated, but as a panromantic woman, I don’t understand why she keeps insisting she is pansexual or whatever.
Image Image
I won’t judge but this reads like she is not interested in women? Perhaps bicurious like this current post says.
sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
I know this will sound cynical…
…but a whole, whole lot of younger, brainrotted tiktok addicts with narcissistic personalities and negative attention spans will describe themselves as pan or bi when they aren’t at all, because they can use it as an idpol thing, an extra reason to legitimate their anger directed at anyone critical of them, a vapid empty signifier that has no real meaning beyond ‘people i think are funny or hot or popular say they are bi/pan/omni, so I am too!’
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Seems like she’s just collecting adjectives at this point.
CatDemons4@lemmings.world 5 days ago
I do like women. Women are beautiful.
I, in fact, tried dating one at 16, but I was also dating this dude and trying to break up. She didn’t know I was dating him, though (she never even asked) and caught me with him. She was very upset, so I told my homophobic asshole friend to go F herself for telling her I have a boyfriend :(
So yeah, my big-mouthed friend ruined that for me, sadly. I told her to never speak to me again and she couldn’t sit with me for the rest of sophomore year, but since I’m quite sweet, I forgave her. i know she was devoted to me.