That sounds like more of a personal hangup than standard fact for anyone.
Comment on What is "forming questions in an affirmative voice?"
lurch@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks agoHonestly, I know what the intention was, but the first makes me feel manipulated and angry right away, as it implies I want to prevent anything and that there is a future. It’s so unnatural and loaded.
callouscomic@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
BassTurd@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think this example is used in the context that something preventable happened. You’re more likely to get a better response if asking in the former than the latter.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The first is problem solving, the second is blaming.
The first is phrased in a way that is condescending for an adult.
BassTurd@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I didn’t think I agree that it’s condescending. To me it’s just your cause analysis. If I had people reporting to me, and someone fucked up, I would want to know how we’re going to prevent it from happening again. To me it’s just cutting to the chase and problem solving.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The context is whether the person asking the question was involved in the process that went wrong and if the person who screwed up should know better. We are probably thinking of different situations, like how ‘bless your heart’ can be positive or negative depending on context.
If one person screwed up, saying ‘we’ comes across as patronizing because it generally means the person asking knew how to avoid the situation and expected the person who screwed up to know as well. Like if someone didn’t disconnect the power to a thing like they are supposed to because they were in a hurry and shocked themselves, saying ‘what should we do next time’ would be condescending. That would be very different than discovering a new fault in a group process and asking a team (adults) what should be done next time. “We found out that the plan to handle case Y didn’t work, how do you think we can prevent it next time” is not condescending because it is being asked to a group of adults (plural) for something new. “How do you think it can be avoided” would also not be condescending if asked for a single person.
It sounds nitpicky, but it is really nuance. Saying ‘we’ when the right thing is known is condescending for adults, but makes it easier for children who are learning to not take it so personally.