CouncilOfFriends
@CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.net
- Comment on schizoposting irl 3 weeks ago:
This gave my brain a tummy ache
- Comment on Soup 1 month ago:
Well they’re dead
- Comment on Morish Morals 1 month ago:
There were also plans to construct a device to turn the planet’s food supply into rocks, which were axed due to budget cuts.
- Comment on The last thing I need is to get pulled over because some used car dealership didn't submit the paperwork 2 months ago:
I would also badger the dealership and check the status, because they might say, “we forgot to submit the paperwork for your plates.”
- Comment on Describe your gender using only US states 5 months ago:
My name is Ted Cruz, and my pronoun is kiss my ass. Or kiss Trump’s ass. Or just be an ass, depending on the day.
- Comment on "Fun" competition 6 months ago:
I enjoyed the delay while one person put on their safety squints to check for falling barrels
- Comment on Skip brushing your teeth by combining it with breakfast 7 months ago:
No onions, jalapenos, or relish either, just raw dogging it
- Comment on Yum 7 months ago:
Baby wolves also lick their mother’s face to signal them to regurgitate food
- Comment on Yeah, Yeah, wait what? 7 months ago:
It’s spelled Vagina Convention
- Comment on We have had guns for 200 years but mass shootings only became common in the last 30. So what changed? 8 months ago:
- Comment on why host your own files when someone else can do it for you 8 months ago:
My first thought when I read this was of playing with the hinged mirrors of a medicine cabinet and forgetting which reflection is real
- Comment on Amazon coupons: what's the story? 8 months ago:
An old man is selling watermelons. His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10
A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. “That’d be 3 dollars”, says the old man.
The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each.
As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, “Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing.”
The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, “People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business…”
- Comment on How do you get the dry boogers out if you don’t pick your nose? 8 months ago:
I just keep a dedicated pair of pliers on a hook in the bathroom
- Comment on How do you call someone born in the US besides "American"? 8 months ago:
Who is this Abe? It sounds like an honest name
- Comment on What game did you find in a bargain bin that turned out to be awesome? For me it was Z by Bitmap Brothers which I got at Zellers for $0.47 8 months ago:
All of our NES games were bargain-bin. Section Z was the only one we had with a decent soundtrack, which made up for how often I died
- Comment on Found on the dark web 8 months ago:
Disconnect your router’s connection to your Internet service provider, and then ping another device in your house. You are now on the dark web
- Comment on [deleted] 9 months ago:
Do you prefer stepping in dog shit?
- Comment on why isn't the use of the bidet more widespread? 10 months ago:
I’ve had no issues with the cheap $20-40 USD bidets from Amazon, while I’m sure the fanciness of a heated bidet would change my life I don’t see the need.
- Comment on Most motorists want noise cameras installed to clamp down on loud cars 10 months ago:
Next thing you know these pencil pushers will be wanting to record how much lead is in our water