How did you guys deal with the death of a parent?

Comments

• Bluedragon012@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I did not cope well.

  Here is my hard earned advice: Go by thier grave as much as you need to. Sit and talk as long as you want. Cry as much as you want/ can.

  That is a space where you are allowed to grieve. this is a space where you are allowed to be sad. Tell them your recent achievements. Tell them your frustrations.

  Pray for advice. Tell them to poke the Devine, fate, or entropy to favor your way. sit at the grave and look at the sky. Diacuss anything.

  What ever it takes. drive for hours on end. turn on a video game that you don’t have to think about. Clean if you must.

  Eat at least 1 meal. drink water at least. Make thier recipes mix thier favorite drinks.

  Smell thier clothes. Hug thier clothes. Store them. And or be rid of them.

  What ever it takes.

  Hang in there.

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• 1984@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You miss them but they are in a much better place now. This place is the hard one. Next one is vacation.

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• yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Basically you dont. Ive only lost grandparents so far and even that hurts like a bitch. Every day it gets a bit easier, and eventually it’ll just feel normal. Even 10 years down the line you’ll do something awesome and think “i cant wait to show this to dad” and then youll remember and tear up a little.

  Theres no “getting over it”, theres just grieving and time. Youre right. It sucks. It sucks hard. But unfortunately thats just the way life is sometimes.

  Only bright side I can offer you is that pretty much everyone goes through it in their lives, and it is pretty much as bad as it can get. You’re not likely to feel this upset over anything else.

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  • fossilesque@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yea, he died, then a month later my grandma and two uncles died. This year sucked.

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• banazir@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Grief comes in many forms and comes to everyone in different ways. The important thing is to not keep the emotions away, but to feel them. Grief is our way of accepting and, as to your question, dealing with loss. The bigger the loss, the keener the grief. There is no timetable, there is no plan. Grief works in mysterious ways and will take its time. Often that time is the rest of our lives - but it does eventually settle if you let it do its job. Take your time. Let yourself grieve.

  I have not lost a parent yet, but I have lost many a dear person over the course of my life. I’ve had to grieve people who are still, for now, here with us, because I know they won’t be for long. Not long enough. Never long enough.

  I find great solace in the thought that grief signifies that what we lost was precious to us. Loss is painful, because what we lost we loved deeply. I’ll add a tried and true quote about grief from Alfred Tennyson’s In Memoriam:

  I hold it true, whate’er befall;

  I feel it when I sorrow most;

  'Tis better to have loved and lost

  Than never to have loved at all.

  I’m sorry for your loss.

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• melsaskca@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I got over it eventually, now I use “obvious”. /s (Sorry for your loss, it does get better with time).

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