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Comments

• CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Is this a real friend, or just an artist you’re following who is nice to you on her business chanel?

  Sounds like an innapropriate, lopsided “relationship”. I imagine she is just being nice, not a real friend.

  I could be completely wrong, just the vibes I’m getting from this post.

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  • may_be@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Maybe, she said we were friends though and we do regularly talk and chat.

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    • faltryka@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      She can’t decline your attention on her business account, it’s possible you’re making her uncomfortable with unwanted attention and in a situation that is lose lose for her.

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• cattywampas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Have you met this friend in person?

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  • may_be@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Nah, she’s not from my country even

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    • cattywampas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Sorry to be harsh, but she isn’t a friend. What you’re describing isn’t a friendship. By your own admission you get attached easily and I think you’re probably way overestimating the importance of this relationship to her.

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• dohpaz42@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It sounds like you just recently friended this person. You also sound like a person who is either full throttle or nothing at all. I could be mistaken, and my apologies if I am.

  Think of it like this:

  When you plant a seed, you need to water it for it to grow. If you give it too much water, it’ll drown and likely not sprout into anything. If you don’t give it any water, it’ll dry up and sprout either. You’re new at this, so you might pour a little too much water, and sometimes you may not pour enough. It’s okay. Adjust and try again.

  When the spout starts poking through the soil, you get excited. Come on, who wouldn’t? It’s exciting stuff. But it’s still new and the plant is still trying to get its roots firmly set in the ground. So just keep watering, give it plenty of space and sunshine , and before you know it, it should be blooming.

  Mind you, sometimes no matter what you do, a plant doesn’t make it. Maybe it was your fault, maybe it was something else.

  Never stop trying. Adjust and try again.

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  • may_be@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    No, not super recently. Maybe a few months ago? So… fairly so. Anyway, yeah. I probably also have a mental disorder which is no excuse but could explain it. I’ve always been like this.

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    • adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      A few months is recent; the plant analogy is apt here, because often you plant in the fall before the frost, then have to wait a full 6 months before you see any results. But when you see results, that doesn’t mean it’s harvest time; you’ve sometimes got another 3 months of nurture before you start seeing a harvest.

      And then you’ve got to put in that effort all over again, and some plants just won’t make it.

      Exiting that analogy, relationships are a dance. Meet people where they are. Pay attention to how much they’re bringing to the relationship. Bring a similar amount yourself, and carefully add a bit more over months if you see a balance there.

      If you find out they just wanted a single dance, or don’t like your style, accept it, appreciate what you were able to enjoy together, and go look for another dance partner, using what you learn along the way.

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    • dohpaz42@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I can relate. I’m a full-throttle person too. Take care of yourself.

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• ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You can be good friends with someone without having the sort of connection that makes discussing some specific issue possible. That doesn’t mean the connection isn’t genuine, even if the scope of it is not as broad as you wish it was. Regarding venting in particular: in my experience, it’s fairly common that people don’t want to listen to heavy stuff that they can’t help you fix. I often have things that makes me sad which I want to put into words even though they can’t be fixed, and I find that for that sort of thing AI can actually be a good “listener” of a sort.

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  • dohpaz42@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Be careful what you say to an AI. There are more than one story of personal information being leaked, and other stories where the AI will try to get you to self harm. This is not to mention the fact that whatever you say to an AI can likely be read by the company hosting the AI, and with all of the data leaks these days, that’s likely not something you want out on the Internet at some point.

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  • may_be@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    thank u! i don’t mean venting, i mean talking about anything lol, sorry i forgot to specify

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• frisbird@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You’re craving for connecting is interfering with your connecting.

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• may_be@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  “I don’t hate you but sometimes I don’t wanna talk or know what to say so don’t chat me everyday :)”

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• may_be@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I’m kind of an ass for this. Like, show me one bit of kindness and I’ll like you forever and even think we’re friends/

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  • dohpaz42@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You’re not an ass. You’re learning to be social. Mistakes will be made. Give yourself grace. We all make mistakes.

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