Dagnammit

Comments

• MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Every year on Valentine’s Day my neighbor’s husband has been asking to borrow some bone chain lubricant, I know he uses it as lube to masturbate but I don’t mind because everyone needs a little love on Valentine’s Day.

  This all changed 2 Valentine’s days ago when he started asking for treadmill lubricant and I told him I don’t have a treadmill but he insisted I give him treadmill lubricant, he held a machete to my throat and told me to drive to the nearest gym and break into the maintenance closet to get some of that sweet sweet treadmill lube. Well I refused and he killed me, I spent 4 days getting my head sewn back on my an army vet that happened to be at the gym so I was very thankful.

  Since then, every Valentine’s Day I squirt a little bit of treadmill lubricant on my neck scars on his honour.

  source

  • dingus@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Is this a new copypasta?

    source
• gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Happy singles awareness day! 😛

  source
• supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  DAD GUM

  source