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Fuckin' beats me

⁨101⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com⁩ to ⁨memes@sopuli.xyz⁩

https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/a2026ba0-4b1c-4dce-b2c8-c5be57be3fad.webp

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Comments

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  • twykomantis@lemmy.ml ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I don’t know if he survived more attempts than Castro, but you have to admire Tito’s responds after Stalin tried to have him killed 5 times:

    Stalin. Stop sending assassins to murder me. We have already caught five, one with a bomb, another with a rifle. […] If this doesn’t stop, I will send one man to Moscow and there will be no need to send another.

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  • _stranger_@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Castro, and it’s not even close.

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    • BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Haha. I said pretty much the same thing before I saw your comment. Agreed.

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  • uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Adolph Hitler: 39 known attempts Charles de Gaulle: At least 31 attempts Fidel Castro: Fabián Escalante, former chief of Cuba’s intelligence, stated that there had been 634 assassination schemes or attempts. Josip Broz “Tito”: About 22 attempts

    So, Fidel Castro by far… according to one source. That’s a mess and a half.

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Castro?

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  • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Castro. US government really just kept flinging shit at the wall, praying something would stick

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    • notabot@piefed.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      When I look at some of the ideas they came up with, I have to assume it was actually just a cunning plan for America to keep their more deranged inventors, schemers and general crazy folk occupied and out of trouble until and unless Uncle Sam needed their unique thought processes.

      It was all managed through a proper chain of command so that they knew the plan and could inform Castro and he could avoid it. After all, they didn’t want the plans to succeed, or they’d need a different way to keep those people occupied.

      For the more serious folks, and those who know about this, this post is a bit of whimsy, it’s not serious.

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      • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        CIA money printer go brrrr

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  • BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Without a doubt, Castro. Not even close.

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  • katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My guess is Castro. I know the US failed to assassinate him on multiple occasions. I have no idea about the others.

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    • birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      'Bout 847 attempts.

      Hitler had like only 50 or so.

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      • stankmut@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I wonder how accurate that number is. From what I can find, the source was Castro’s head of intelligence. He’d certainly know things, but he is a single source. His list includes things that arent assassination attempts, like assassination schemes (plans that haven’t been/won’t be put into action) and attempts to assassinate his character. Is a plot to make his beard fall out an assassination attempt?

        The scuba suit with poison fungus is one that seems pretty popular, people love to bring it up. But it wasn’t an actual attempt, it never made it out of the planning phase.

        Wait, the BBC article I just found about his book Executive Action: 634 Ways to Kill Fidel Castro says, “However most of the ideas were never put into practice, former bodyguard Fabian Escalante said.” The source of the 634 number isn’t even claiming that there were 634 assassination attempts.

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      • Bonus@sopuli.xyz ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Can’t help but imagine Peter Sellers as a bungling but lovable assassin now

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      • katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I knew it was many, but damn…

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  • FerretyFever0@fedia.io ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It's gotta be Castro. So, so, so many attempts.

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  • uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Hitler is 39 attempts known, according to Wikipedia’s list. There may have been unknown ones.

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